Listen To My Latest Podcast Episode:

#655: Why The Level Of Your Self-Worth Determines The Level Of Your Success with Jamie Kern Lima

Listen To My Latest Podcast Episode:#655: Why The Level Of Your Self-Worth Determines The Level Of Your Success with Jamie Kern Lima

AMY PORTERFIELD: “And after flubbing up on many podcasts—you want to know something I learned?—the audience ends up loving you more for it. It shows that you're real and gives them permission to go out and pursue their dreams, too, no matter if they mess up or not. So I think our audiences need to see us mess up more. I really do.  

“But anyway, the mantra helps in remembering, ‘This is not about me. I'm not here to look good or sound good. I'm here to change lives.’”  

INTRO: I’m Amy Porterfield, ex-corporate girl turned CEO of a multi-seven-figure business. But it wasn't all that long ago that I lacked the confidence, the budget, and the time to focus on growing my small-but-mighty business. Fast forward past many failed attempts and lessons learned, and you'll see the business I have today, one that changes lives and gives me more freedom than I ever thought possible, one that used to only exist as a daydream. I created the Online Marketing Made Easy podcast to give you simple, actionable, step-by-step strategies to help you do the same. If you're an ambitious entrepreneur, or one in the making, who's looking to create a business that makes an impact and a life you love, you're in the right place, friend. Let's get started. 

AMY: I want to tell you about a podcast that I recently discovered, and it's part of the HubSpot network, and I am loving it. It's called The Shine Online, hosted by Natasha Samuel. And she interviews the brightest entrepreneurs she knows to bring you no-fluff advice—you know how I feel about that—honest discussions about the mental-health and lifestyle aspect of entrepreneurship; and actionable strategies and success stories of those who've mastered the art of shining online. And it's a really conversational podcast, which I love. I personally loved her recent episode. It's titled “New Year, New Strategy: My 2023 Content Predictions,” and she dives into her expert content predictions for the upcoming year. It is good. So you can listen to The Shine Online wherever you get your podcasts. 

Hey, there, friend. Welcome back to Online Marketing Made Easy 

It is very early at the time that I'm recording this podcast, and I'm drinking my bone broth. I've tried to do bone broth in the morning and my first cup of coffee a little bit later in the morning. I feel like that helps with my anxiety. And so I've been making this practice. And it took a little while to get used to it. I feel like I'm drinking, like, chicken soup or beef-broth stew in the morning, and that was weird. But I have gotten very used to it, and it makes me feel good, so here I am drinking my bone broth and recording an early-morning podcast episode for you.  

And this one is directly taken from my experience with my recent book launch. So at the time of this recording, my book isn't out yet, because you know I batch my episodes, but by the time you hear it, my book will be out in the world for about a week. So I am deep in it right now. And one of the things that I've done on this book launch is I've done a podcast tour. And let me tell you, it was exhausting, to say the least, but, like, in the best way. It's the kind of exhaustion that's fueled by a big goal. So I feel excited about it, no matter if it's just, like, a little bit or a lot difficult at times. 

So here's the goal I set. I wanted to record one hundred podcast episodes for other people's podcasts for when my book comes out. I wanted to share the message from my book,  Two Weeks Notice, and I wanted to reach as many people as possible. Now, with these interviews, this goal of a hundred, we haven't recorded all one hundred yet. I've got, like, two and a half weeks to go. So we definitely are going to hit our goal. But with this goal of a hundred, we wanted to make sure that we got them all recorded so they came out in January and February.  

So the most important week for a podcast tour to hit when you have a book is the week the book's out. It's really interesting how difficult it is to pre-sell a twenty-seven-dollar book. I had no idea. What I've been learning is that the reader tends to wait till the book is out to grab it, even though I have bonuses or even though I'm talking about it early. Not everyone. We have many, many presales, and I'm very fortunate about that because presales mean a lot to an author. However, I've been told that just wait till your book comes out; you'll see, like, organic movement. And I'm excited about that.  

So we wanted a lot of these episodes to hit the week the book came out so people wouldn't need to wait, or listen to the podcast and then forget to buy it later because they wanted to wait till it actually was out. So anyway, that's a little bit of the logistics of that.  

But I want to talk about this process of recording these one hundred interviews because I've learned some valuable lessons that even if you're not going to record a hundred interviews in a very short amount of time, you still can take these lessons and use them for whenever you are interviewed for anybody's podcast. So even if you never plan to write a book or if you never want to do a podcast tour, I promise you, these lessons are really, really valuable. And there's one about frameworks that you can use everywhere in your entire business, so stay tuned.  

Okay. The first lesson I've learned is that organization is key to delivering high-quality podcast interviews. I think we can all agree that one hundred interviews about the same book is a lot, and I don't want to come across sounding like a broken record. So I mean, like, I don't want to say the same thing in every interview. Now, there will absolutely be a lot of overlap, but I wanted to pull from stories and frameworks and lessons and statistics from kind of all over my journey of entrepreneurship so that each episode had something a little special in it, a little bit different.  

And so what I did is I developed a podcast-interview one sheet. So this is like a living document that has categories on it, like what are the stories I want to tell? What are the frameworks I want to share? What are the lessons I want to share? And what are some of the recent statistics? Like for me, with a book called Two Weeks Notice, there are lots of headlines right now around surveys done about how people feel about their job. Like, a recent one came out in Business Insider that all the people that were surveyed, 50 percent wanted to quit their job in 2023. That's an interesting statistic when I'm talking about why you should quit your job and start your own business. And so any time a new statistic came out, a new study, a new article, I would put it in that category, and I could reference it easy. So under each category in this podcast one sheet, I'm continuously adding bullet points for ideas and topics that I don't want to forget.  

And then, I always review the one sheet before each interview. So this helps hold me accountable and challenges me to mix things up to provide unique value for each of these interviews and audiences. So this is something that you could do right now. You just create a Google Doc, put these different categories in. So that way you're collecting the stories and the lessons and the frameworks and the articles so that you're always ready for when that dream podcaster calls and says, “I want you on my show.”  

Okay. The second lesson I've learned is that developing signature frameworks brings an interview to life. This is what I was mentioning earlier. I cannot take credit for this one. I had the opportunity to work with Rory Vaden and his team, Brand Builders, to work on a signature talk that was related to my book. So while he was helping me with this signature talk, what I noticed—actually, I have an episode coming out with Rory on Thursday, so be sure to tune back in for that because of this week on Thursday, because you'll see Rory works through frameworks. His mind is in frameworks. So you'll see many frameworks inside of that interview on Thursday. We're going to talk about how to build a personal brand. It's one of my favorite episodes. You're going to love it.  

Anyway, so when he was helping me put together my signature talk, every time he wanted to teach me something new, every time he wanted to punctuate a point, he would bring out one of his frameworks. And so he'd say, “Okay, this is framework x, y, z, and this is how you work through it, and this is the answer or result you'll get.” And it made everything so simple and come to life. Like, I really understood at a deeper level.  

So now that I've been working on my book and my signature talk, I've come up with some new frameworks. You might have heard me talk about the framework the capacity for zero. And it's this process of getting to a place where you let go of your ego, and you agree that no matter the success you've already had, no matter the accolades you have in your job, the title, whatever it might be, you have a high capacity for zero, meaning you are willing to start from scratch. You are willing to look silly. You are willing to have zero social-media followers, zero downloads on your podcast, because you want to pivot. You want a different kind of life. So your ego's going to take the back seat. You're going to work on your capacity for zero. So that's one of them. And then I teach people how to work through it.  

Or you guys have probably heard me talk about the course creator's sweet spot, which I really just use for anyone coming up with an idea for a side hustle, a business, a course. The sweet spot has four quadrants. I walk people through the four quadrants. That's one of my frameworks.  

Or I've got something called the self-doubt shield, which I have a shield, and I list all the different excuses people use not to leave their job and not to start their business. And then I take them through a process of how to move past the self-doubt shield.  

I think one of the most important things about these frameworks is that you give them a name, and they are yours. Many of you have heard me talk about the invisible bridge. And it's this concept of moving people across an invisible bridge so that you're giving them the information, the insight, the new beliefs, the lessons so that when they get to the other side of the bridge, they are ready to buy your course. So it's this process you take them through. What do they need to believe, understand in order to want and buy your product? Well, that's where you're taking them across the invisible bridge, giving them these new beliefs.  

So, these are all ways that I can explain my content deeper. I mean, I didn't go into detail here like I would do on an interview. However, I just wanted to give you an idea. So I really love this concept of coming up with a framework, naming it, making it your own, and then working through it so you can easily explain it on a podcast. People remember it. Like, “Oh, yeah, the capacity for zero. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, I'm going to work on that. I get it now.” You bring an idea to life with a framework.  

Now, you can use this all throughout your courses. I teach something like this in Digital Course Academy, so that you are coming up with your own ideas, your own concepts, and making it unique.  

So signature frameworks have absolutely helped bring a level of detail to my interviews that I wouldn't be able to accomplish without them. And I really highly recommend you start working on some of your own frameworks.  

Okay. Next up, my third lesson is that you want to be mindful of the thoughts you choose to believe, and use mantras to get in the right headspace. So I'd argue that this is the most important lesson I'm sharing. Even though I've done thousands of podcasts at this point, like, in my fourteen years, I still get nervous for some of them when in my mind I tell myself, “Holy cow, this is a big deal.” 

Let me give you an example. A few months ago, I walked into the Sirius radio studios in L.A., and I got interviewed by my friend—I would say he's definitely a friend, but it still made me nervous—Ed Mylett. And I really wanted to do a good job because I knew he takes his podcast very seriously. The man read the book. Like, he had notes. He had his questions ready. It was an impeccable interview. If you haven't listened to it yet, go Google “Amy Porterfield, Ed Mylett”—one of the best interviews I've ever done. And I can't even believe how much attention it got. And so I was really nervous.  

Also, I'm going to Vermont to record the Mel Robbins podcast that will come out the week my book comes out. I'm nervous for that, even though she is a good friend. I mean, I love her dearly. I just know it's a big, big show. It gets a lot of downloads, and I want to do a great job.  

So left to my own devices, my brain starts thinking, “What if I mess up? What if I sound like an idiot? What if I can't remember my stories? Or what if they ask me a question I can't remember?” I'm going to tell all of you—this is for any of the authors or future authors out there. If you're an author, you already know this. But the future authors out there that no one told me—people are going to ask you about stuff in your book that is very specific. Like, “In the book you listed three ways to do x, y, z. Can you go over those three ways?” You're like, “Oh, my god, I listed three ways one hundred different times in the book of different things.” Like, it is wild. I'll tell you a quick story later on about how that happened with me and Ed Mylett. And I was like, uuh. But I recovered.  

So anyway, my ego tries to protect me; and therefore, it chooses these thoughts that do not serve me. Like, “I am not enough. I shouldn't be here. I don't belong here. I'm going to mess up.” It's a wild thing.  

But what I realized is that these thoughts are about me. How will I sound? How will I look? What will I do? And if I allow myself to stay in the headspace of me, me, me, me, me, I am not making the interview about the person I want to serve.  

So to avoid this, before I start an interview, I say a mantra that sounds something like this. “I'm here to show up as the best version of myself in this moment. Today I will serve at the highest level I can and add so much value for the listener, however it comes out.” So that's what I say before each of the interviews. “I'm here to show up as the best version of myself in this moment. Today I will serve at the highest level I can and add so much value for the listener, however it comes out,” meaning no matter what happens.  

It makes a world of difference walking into an interview with this kind of attitude. And it also means if I mess up, it won't derail me. And after flubbing up on many podcasts—you want to know something I learned?—the audience ends up loving you more for it. It shows that you're real and gives them permission to go out and pursue their dreams, too, no matter if they mess up or not. So I think our audiences need to see us mess up more. I really do.  

But anyway, the mantra helps in remembering, “This is not about me. I'm not here to look good or sound good. I'm here to change lives. So let’s go.” Let's make it about the people we serve and not about us.  

I use this same kind of idea when I get on stage. I'm nervous because I'm worried what people will think about me. If I just cared about serving at the highest level, those nerves would subside. So I use this on speaking gigs as well. 

Okay. So speaking of messing up, it brings me to lesson four, which is stories are your best friend when your mind goes blank. This is something that has happened to me a few times, where I'll be talking, and my mind, it's like it reboots, and I remember nothing about what I was just saying. I don't know if it means I'm just getting older, but, dang, it's a scary feeling. So I bet you've been there, though, right? You're talking, and you're going in one direction, and you kind of forget where you're going with that. Or someone asks you a question and in the moment you do not know the answer to.  

So this happened when I was being interviewed by Ed. The interview was going so freaking well. And then at the end, one of the very last questions he asked me was, “Give me some examples of un-bossing yourself.” Un-bossing is a theme in my book, becoming your own boss, letting go of the idea that someone else needs to lead you, and there's ways that you can un-boss yourself. I could not think of what they were, and I've talked about them, like, a hundred times. But in the moment, I looked at that man and thought, “It's like you just spoke a different language to me. I have no idea. I'm drawing a blank.” And so what I did was I told a story about how I un-bossed myself. And so the story kind of gives the idea of what it looks like and how to go through the journey. So it still served the same purpose of what his question was asking. I just didn’t list, like, one, two, three ways to un-boss yourself. I told a story.  

And stories pull the audience in and connect them to a shared experience and emotion. And this adds richness to an interview that facts and figures alone just cannot accomplish. And it lets people into your world. They start to understand you. They resonate with you. Stories are everything. When all else fails, tell a story. I really do believe that. I need to tell more stories.  

Sometimes—and tell me if you can relate to this—sometimes I try to not take up someone's time. Like in these podcasts, I try not to go too long and drag it out and be too indulgent because you've got things to do. And so sometimes that leaks into, when I'm telling the story, I try to rush through it so I don't take up too much time. That's not how you tell a story. Take the time, give the richness, give the details so people really feel like they are there.  

And so I really want to work on my storytelling ability because when I was at that retreat in Napa that I talked about a few podcasts ago, Ed Mylett was there, and it was his turn to share. And the majority of the time he was—you can share about what challenges you're having or what you could use help with—the majority of the time, he just told a story. And the story took a little while, so it kind of sucked up his time to share, which was fine because everyone was hanging on every word. I remember that story so vividly, and the lesson from the story, I've used in my life. I won't go into it; it's his story. But it was so captivating because he took the time to really draw it out, and it made an impact for me. So let's all remember that. 

Okay. Last but not least, the fifth and final lesson, remember to celebrate the wins and be kind to yourself throughout the process. So this one's important because I know you, like me, are hard on yourself. And regardless of the interview outcome—and let me tell you, there's a few interviews I got off of that I thought that was not my best work. Like, I was tired or didn't show up like I wanted to with the stories and the lessons. And I wasn't trying to make it as unique as I wanted. There were very few, but there were some I struggled with, for sure. I remind myself that I am my toughest critic. I will always be harder on myself than anyone online will ever be. And so the things that I think weren't good, people wouldn't even pick up on.  

Like, I've done many media interviews now as well, like, live news and talk shows and stuff. And afterwards, I'll watch the interview and tell my PR contact, “Ugh, I went long on that,” or “I flubbed up on that. I couldn't remember how I wanted to talk about it.” And she would be like, “I think it's great, and I wouldn't even know.” And she's giving me criticism. Like, she is meant to tell me what I didn't do well, and oftentimes, she’s like, “No, you are too hard on yourself. That was excellent.” And I really trust her because her job is to make sure I'm really great on these interviews. So I think we're all harder on ourselves than we need to be.  

So I tend to, when I start to do that, I thank myself for showing up. I'm proud of myself that I'm doing the hard work. I've gotten more uncomfortable in this book launch than anything in my business from the first day of creating it. And so I reframe my mindset and remind myself that I'm in it. I'm doing the work. That means I'm already winning. I am good to go. And then I call my ride or die, my husband, Hobie, and I share with him how I'm feeling or something I'm proud of. I just get into conversation with him about the situation; that tends to kind of ease my mind.  

Also, another thing I do is I have a few different girlfriends that I send voice messages to every single day about work, life, and everything in between. So that might be one of the moments like, “Oh, my gosh, girls. I got to tell you about this interview I did. I feel like an idiot. Here's where I messed up. But I'm going to be kind to myself. I'm going to let it go.” And then I always say, “Tell me about your day. What are you doing?” because when you focus on someone else instead of yourself, it kind of takes you out of that funk. And so I tend to say, “Tell me something good,” or “Share with me what your day looks like,” and it always takes me out of it.  

So we've got to celebrate the fact that we're just showing up. I think if you leave here with nothing else—because I doubt you're on a one-hundred-podcast tour right now. That's very rare. I get it—however, take some of these lessons for your upcoming interviews, but more importantly, just remember that you are still in it. If you are listening to a business-marketing podcast like this one, you are in it. You are doing the work. You are showing up. And my friend, that's half the battle. Most people won't do that. So celebrate the fact that you are showing up and you're putting in the time. And then, also, I want you to just remember that you're harder on yourself than anyone will be online, so be a little kinder.  

Thank you so much for tuning into this Shorty episode. So on Thursdays I do longer episodes, tend to walk you step by step or interview someone to give you really great insight to scale your business, grow your business, build that email list, do those webinars, sell those courses, all that stuff. So that's every Thursday. And this Thursday I've got Rory Vaden, and he's going to talk about how to build a lucrative personal brand. And let me tell you, the way he talks about a personal brand is different than anything I've ever thought of in terms of a personal brand. So he's going to give a good education around what that looks like and then how to do it.  

All right. I'll see you on Thursday, same time, same place. Bye for now. 

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