Why Earning More Hasn't Made You Feel Safer
You've hit the income you used to dream about and money still keeps you up at night. Tori Dunlap has helped over 5 million women figure out why, and it has almost nothing to do with math.
She's the founder of Her First $100K, host of the Financial Feminist podcast, and a New York Times bestselling author. We get into the money story you absorbed by age seven, the guilt ambitious women feel about wanting more, and her boldest line of the conversation: women who avoid building wealth stay controllable.
When women apply for my new coaching program Calibrae, we ask two questions. How much did you make last year, and what was your profit margin. Almost none of them know the second one. And they feel ashamed about it. I lived that for years. I didn't know my margin because I didn't want to know. If I knew, I'd have to do something about it. Tori called it the ostrich effect. And she said the same thing happens with creatives who get told early on that “someone else can handle the money side.” It's a lie, and it's the ceiling so many of us are hitting.
She also said something worth sitting with. “Money allows me the ability to exercise my self-worth.” When you have money, you can leave the bad date, the toxic apartment, the job where you're being mistreated. Tori told me about being 23 in a corporate job where she was getting harassed and not having enough money to walk away. That's what scarcity actually costs us. And it's what wealth gives back.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
- Revenue highs are exciting. The unexplainable dips that follow? Not so much. If you’re a female founder and your coaching, course, or membership business is making six figures or more annually, the problem isn't that things aren't working. It's that you can't yet see what is. And you can't repeat what you can't see.
My free live training, The Revenue Consistency Formula, fixes that. Click here to learn what's actually behind your numbers and how to bank on them.
- Her First $100K Free Money Personality Quiz
- Financial Feminist by Tori Dunlap
- Financial Feminist Podcast
- Her First $100K
- Tori's Recommended Credit Cards
HERE ARE THE 3 KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
1️⃣ Your Money Fear Was Cemented by Age 7 — The guilt around wanting more, the urge to look away from your numbers, the feeling that wealth is for other women, all of it is inherited story and social conditioning. Once you can name what you're carrying, you can stop letting it drive your pricing, your launches, and your willingness to charge what you're worth.
2️⃣ It's Not Money That's Stressing You Out. It's Not Knowing. — Tori compares it to driving with no gas gauge. The anxiety isn't because money is hard. It's because you have no idea what's actually happening with it. Look at the numbers, build simple systems, and the constant low-grade dread starts to dissolve.
3️⃣ Women Who Avoid Wealth Stay Controllable — When you don't have money, you can't leave the bad client, the toxic situation, the room that doesn't respect you. Money is the ability to exercise your self-worth. That's the difference between “comfortable” and free.
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