Transcript: What’s Keeping You Safe is What’s Keeping You Stuck

March 21, 2019


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Well hey there, welcome back to another episode of The Online Marketing Made Easy Podcast. I’m your host, Amy Porterfield, and today we are talking about getting you unstuck no matter where you are in your entrepreneurial journey.

Maybe you’re starting from scratch. Maybe you’re just in your first few years. Maybe you’ve been at this for a while but you feel stuck or unfulfilled or as thought something is missing or not going as planned. Then this, my friend, is the episode for you.

We’re going to dive into why you feel stuck and the strategies that you can approach in order to move past that feeling of stuckness (I made that up), feeling stuck, or just feeling unfulfilled and moving into a place that you’re inspired and excited and you can’t wait to dive in to the projects that are before you.

We’re going to get you there. Stay with me here and we’re going to dive into all the details you need to know to make that happen.

Before we get there I want to give a listener shout out to Wine Country Chick. I love when you guys have fun names like that. Wine Country Chick says,

“Life changing! I discovered Amy’s podcast a few months ago and was immediately hooked. I’ve been pretty successful in the influencer space while still working a full-time job but I’ve been feeling really unfulfilled and bored. This podcast has inspired me to take my brand to the next level by creating my own digital course. I tune in every week to get an extra dose of inspiration. Thanks, Amy.”

Wine Country Chick, I love this. It’s so appropriate for today’s episode because I love how you were feeling unfulfilled and bored and you changed things up. You got excited about a new project and you’re moving forward. That’s exactly what I hope a lot of my listeners do today so thanks for posting. I truly appreciate you listening in.

For all of my other listeners, if you want me to give you a listener shout out all you need to do is join the Online Marketing Made Easy free Facebook group. You can leave a shout out there or you can leave a review on iTunes and we read all of those reviews every single week.

Okay, let’s get to it. We are going to get you unstuck today.

Let’s talk about what might be keeping you stuck. I know my students and community pretty well so maybe you’re in a 9-to-5 job and you’re just dying to move away from it and you haven’t done so already.

Maybe you’re in a 9-to-5 job and you’ve started this side hustle and you really are tired of it being a side hustle. You want it to be a full-time thing. You’re feeling stuck because it’s not moving fast enough.

Maybe you’ve created a business model that you do not love. You want to be making money in a different way but you feel stuck and you’re not really sure how to get out of that so you can create the business model that’s going to get your excited to get out of bed every morning.

Maybe you have set revenue goals for yourself and you’re just not meeting those revenue goals. A few years have passed and you’re nowhere near where you had hoped to be when you created your online business.

Or maybe you’re just playing small and you know it. Deep down in your core you know you are playing a small game but you’re stuck. You’re just not sure how to get out of that rut and start playing a bigger game.

No matter what it is if you’re feeling stuck in any area of your business this episode is for you.

Let me walk you through how to start moving forward in the direction you want to go. Are you ready? Let’s do this.

We are going to explore four areas that are likely keeping you stuck. I’m going to guess that you haven’t really even thought of these four areas as the thing that’s keeping you stuck.

You might saying that what’s keeping you stuck is your 9-to-5 job or you are a busy mom with a bunch of kids and you’re trying to run a business but it’s hard to do both. Those are valid reasons but there’s something deeper that is keeping you stuck than those surface excuses.

I don’t want to say excuses but if I was giving you some tough love they are probably excuses. We all have excuses why we feel stuck or unmotivated or uninspired. They are all excuses because with an excuse there is always a way to get past it. There is always something we can do an I promise you there is something you can do to get unstuck or motivated again.

Let’s explore these four areas.

I’m Stuck #1 – What is keeping you safe?

The first one is in the form of a question. My question is: What’s keeping you safe? Right now, what is keeping you safe?

If you’ve ever been to my live event, The Entrepreneurial Experience, you might have heard me tell this story. Or, if you catch my Facebook lives on my Facebook page you might have heard me talk about this so bear with me. But, sometimes if you hear things a few times, a few different ways, it really starts to sink in so this could be a plus for you.

Here’s the deal. My sister’s a few years older than me. She still has her security blanket, her baby blanket, that she’s had since a very little girl. I need to post it on Instagram because if you saw this thing it’s the rattiest thing in the world.

It’s hideous now. We’re both in our 40s now so it’s bad. She’s had it since she was born. It’s mustard yellow and it’s like a terry cloth kind of blanket. But now it’s all in knots and it looks like it’s chewed up.

She wants everyone to know (because she knows I’m telling this story) it’s very clean. She says she still washes it all the time. It just looks horrible.

I’ve got to post it on Instagram when this episode goes live but what I really want you to know is that she’s had this since she was born. My mom said when she was really little she would go outside and play. She was not allowed to take it to the supermarket or outside or anything like that. It had to stay in her bedroom. That was the rule if she was going to keep this blankie.

My mom said she would go outside and play with all of her friends, she was five or six years old, then she would run into the house, run into her bedroom, grab her blankie, and put it up to her face and snuggle it for just a minute and run back outside again.

My mom says she thinks it just made her feel calm. It made her feel safe. So she still has it guys. I know this sounds very weird but I asked her, “Tracy, where is this blanket?”

She tucks it under her pillow every night. She’s married, everybody. I just want you to know. But she sticks it under her pillow. She just likes it nearby. She’s going to have it until she dies. I have no doubt in my mind.

When I think about my sister’s blankie and the fact that it calms her and keeps her safe and she runs to it and gets a little snuggle…now a days I don’t think she does that. Who knows, maybe she does, but she ran to it as a little girl to get a little snuggle and when outside and did her thing.

My question to you is when we look at your business what is it that keeps you safe? What is it that you run to that’s kind of warm and fuzzy and makes you feel calm and makes you feel like everything’s okay even though you do not need it?

It’s going to look very different in your online business than it will for my sister so we’ll move away from that example here and look at your business.

Sometimes it’s your 9-to-5 job that is your security blanket. Sometimes it’s a client you hate working with but pays you, maybe even pays you well, so you’re not going to go do the stuff in your business that you really want to do full force when you’re making enough money to keep you safe and kind of warm and fuzzy every day.

Maybe it’s a done-for-you services kind of business model you set up where the money is coming in. You’re doing work for other people but deep down you know you don’t want to trade time for dollars. You know you want to, for example, create digital courses to sell one too many.

But, the fact that you have this business and it’s making you money so you’re not going full force for this other thing. A lot of times in our business that one thing that can act as our security blanket is actually keeping us stuck.

If you don’t get uncomfortable you will not move to the next level. I full heartedly believe this. If you do not get uncomfortable you will not move to the next level that you want in your business.

Let me give you an example of that just personally. I know I might be ahead of you in my business. However, I hope you look at where I am at and what I’ve done and can still use the examples I share because they can be applied to where you are right now.

Recently, you guys know that I created Digital Course Academy®️. Back in October I decided that I was bringing in a video crew to my house and for five days I was direct to camera, so I was on camera. I would record a program that was elevated beyond any program I’ve ever created.

I would be on camera. I would teach the lessons. I would make the PDFs more substantial and robust and more how-to. Everything was being taken to a new level with this course.

I knew if I believed in the value of this course my launch would be successful because it would ooze out of me when I was promoting it and on webinars. I would have the confidence to talk about this program because I knew it would get people results.

I got very uncomfortable and brought the film crew in. I was uncomfortable because it was very expensive, very time consuming, and took over my house. Poor Hobie. I kind of felt like he had nowhere to go for these five days.

Although it was just five days it’s five days in your house to disrupt everything. I was stressed. I had never done that much direct-to-camera. I was using a teleprompter. I am not very good at a teleprompter.

Everything was uncomfortable. I was scratchy. I wanted to come out of my skin. I wanted to eat the house down just because I was so uncomfortable. Yet I still showed up every day because I knew I was ready to take this business to the next level.

You have to really know you want it. Do you really want to take your business to the next level? Do you really want to move out of what you’re doing now, no matter what it is, and move into the next place? Then you have to get uncomfortable.

That often looks like letting go of what is keeping you safe. What kept me safe were two programs that I had on evergreen, Courses That Convert®️ and Webinars That Convert®️ were generating over $50,000 a month in revenue with an evergreen webinar, more than that.

That kind of money will keep you safe. Even money can keep you safe. When I was at my 9-to-5 job with Tony Robbins, I got paid a lot. That kept me very safe and cozy and coming in to snuggle up against that when I needed to know I was okay.

Yeah, the money helps. It could even be money that’s keeping you safe in that respect. But the security of a 9-to-5 job beyond the money, just knowing it’s there for you to go to every day and you have something you’re doing, even that principle in itself is security.

What I need to share with you is my security, these programs that were selling, I had to retire them. I couldn’t do this new program and the old programs and have them live together. It wouldn’t make sense for the business but I would never go all in.

That’s what Tony Robbins calls burning the boats. I talked about this in a recent Facebook live. You might have caught it. But you will get to a point, if you’re willing to give up the security blanket, that you can ease into it.

I’m not saying to quit your job today. I’m saying to find a date on the calendar, even if it’s a year from now, that you say, “This is my quit date,” or, “This is the date I quit taking clients,” or, “This is the day I let go of this client that’s driving me crazy because I’m going to create a different kind of business model.”

You have to have a date on your calendar and then you have to have a process to get there. We’ll talk about that in a moment. But here’s what I want to say about that. You have to get to that date and then you burn the boats and storm the island.

That means you do not look back. You do not have one foot into a 9-to-5 and one foot out of it. You do not have one foot into keeping a client part time but you’ll go all in. At one point or another, and I’m not saying right away, you burn the boats and you go full force to storm the island.

The island is whatever it is that you want. You take it. You storm it. You put that flag in and say, “This is mine.” That’s what it looks like. It does not happen overnight but you have to know when it’s coming.

You have to let go of the security blanket in order to get uncomfortable for a long period of time in order to burn the boats and storm the island.

There are so many metaphors here. I hope you’re pacing with me. I get very passionate about this because I’ve lived it. I know it’s possible. I took baby steps but I’ve done it and you, my friend, can do it as well.

There you go. If you’re feeling unstuck, unmotivated, or feeling like you’re not where you want to be you likely have a security blanket you need to recognize, say out loud what it is, and you need to have a plan to let it go eventually. Good?

I’m Stuck #2 – Your expectations

Something that is likely keeping you stuck are your own expectations. If you look at the money you’re making and you say, “That’s not enough,” I say, “Who says it’s not enough?”

Then I ask you who you are comparing yourself to. Setting expectations for yourself that are not rooted in real concrete goals with a process to get to the results you want (I’m talking about loose expectations that you’ve imagined over time because you’ve compared yourself to everybody else) those type of expectations are not serving you.

If you judge yourself as to where you are in your business right now, what you’re doing, and what’s going on and you are quick to judge, what is that judgment? What do you say?

When you look at your online business, when you look at where you’re at, what you’re doing, right away, shout it out if you’re alone. If you’re in the subway whisper it. Whatever you want to do. What’s the judgment you’re giving yourself?

Whatever that is I want to follow it up with, “Who says?” I’m not making enough money. Who says? I’m not as far along as I should be. Who says?

If you say, “I say, Amy,” then I ask where is the goal and process to get you to where you think you should be. If it’s not concrete, which we will get to that in the very next bullet point I’ve got for you, then those expectations are not grounded.

You have to have expectations that are grounded in a set of goals and set of processes to get you there. It’s not fair to have loosey goosey expectations based on your comparison where everyone else is.

Does that make sense? I hope it does. I wish I could talk to you right now and ask if you get that. There is an expectation rooted in goals and there’s an expectation that’s just flying out there because you are being very, very hard on yourself. So be careful with what I call the loosey goosey expectations (That’s a very scientific term, I might say).

Moving on, I feel very intense about this episode. I didn’t know I had it in me that it meant so much but I care deeply about you. I don’t even know you, probably, and I care very deeply that you get unstuck because, my friend, this is the year that you’re making big, bold moves.

We’re doing big things and you can’t do big things if you’re uninspired, unmotivated, or stuck in any way. Cool? Okay, that’s where this intensity, if you’re hearing it from me, is coming from.

I’m Stuck #3 – Get clear on the systems that drive us forward

First of all, we’re going to let go of the security blanket over time. We’re going to let go of loosey goosey expectations that are not rooted in goals, and #3, we are going to get clear on the systems that drive us forward to get the results we want.

Systems, let’s talk about this for a moment. This is a big deal. You guys know, if you follow my podcast, that I’ve been reading this book called Atomic Habits by James Clear.

I need to redo a little excerpt. I don’t typically do this and I hope James is cool with this but I need to redo something that, while I was on a walk with Scout, I had to bookmark it on Audible and then I had to buy the book because I needed to highlight it, and then I needed to read it again and again.

This is something that I genuinely believe in. You’re going to hear me wrestle this book around. Hold on. I’ve got to get clear here. I’ve got to get it in front of me. I’m going to read you something. Are you ready?

The section of the book is literally at the very beginning. It says:

“Forget about goals. Focus on systems instead. Prevailing wisdom claims that the best way to achieve what we want in life: Getting into shape, building a successful business, relaxing more and worrying less, spending more time with friends and family, is to set specific, actionable goals. For many years this was how I approached my habits too. Each one was a goal to be reached.

“I set goals for the grades I wanted to get in school, for the weights I wanted to lift in the gym, for the profits I wanted to earn in my business. I succeeded at a few but I failed at a lot of them. Eventually, I began to realize that my results had very little to do with the goals I set and nearly everything to do with the systems I followed.

“What’s the difference between systems and goals? It’s a distinction I first learned from Scott Adams, the cartoonist behind the Dilbert comics. Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results.

“If you’re a coach your goal might be to win a championship. Your system is the way you recruit players, manage your assistant coaches, and conduct practice. If you’re an entrepreneur your goal might be to build a milliondollar business. Your system is how you test product ideas, hire employees, and run marketing campaigns. If you’re a musician your goal might be to play a new piece. Your system is how often you practice, how you break down and tackle difficult measures, and your method for receiving feedback from your instructor.

“Now for the interesting question. If you completely ignored your goals and focused only on your system would you still succeed? For example, if you were a basketball coach and you ignored your goal to win a championship and focused only on what your team does at practice each day would you still get your results? I think you would.

“The goal in any sport is to finish with the best score. But it would be ridiculous to spend the whole game staring at the scoreboard. The only way to actually win is to get better each day. In the words of three-time Super Bowl winner, ‘the score takes care of itself.’

“The same is true for other areas of life. If you want better results then forget about setting goals. Focus on your system instead. What do I mean by this? Are goals completely useless? Of course not. Goals are good for setting a direction. But systems are best for making progress. A handful of problems arise when you spend too much time thinking about your goals and not enough time designing your systems.”

Oh my gosh! Please tell me you thought that was as good as I did. My favorite part was, “The score takes care of itself,” that quote by Bill Walsh. Yes, and yes. I’m going to keep reminding myself of that and you as well.

You guys know a few episodes back (Episode #247) I talked about setting goals. I have ten goals I write down every single day. However, remember, I said I’ve agreed to fail 100 times this year? That’s what the podcast episode was all about. That’s the system. That’s the process that I’ve put in place.

Those are the things I’m going to do to get (or not get) to that goal. I do believe. Every day I don’t say, “I’m going to make $10 million in my business. I’m going to make $10 million in my business.” Instead, I focus on what is literally right in front of me.

I thought it would be valuable for you if I talked to you about what my system looks like to kind of just give you a snapshot. Anytime someone teaches me something, like when I’m talking to my weight-loss coach, Corinne, and she tells me, “This would be helpful,” I ask what she means. How does that look?

I like to see it in real life and I would like to hear from someone who has gone before me. So, if you’re anything like me I think this will be valuable. Here’s the deal. The goal is to hit $10 million in revenue with 37% expenses in 2019. That is my goal.

The system, what it looks like would be: Determining what I’m selling and promoting in 2019. Before I even hit 2019 I got really clear on what I was selling.

From there I planned all of my promotions throughout the year. I understand that I teach you guys to do just the first six months and that’s cool too. I’ve been at this for a while so I do the full year. But, in the beginning I could only do the first six months.

Planning out promotions and having them on your calendar changes everything. Shout out to my DCA members. You know what we’re doing. In Module 1 you have already put the dates of your big promotion on your calendar in advance. Right? That’s why we do it. That’s part of our system.

In addition to that, as part of my process, I am constantly focused on wowing my current students. I’m in a private Facebook group with my current students. I do live Q&As with them. I answer a bunch of questions. I’ve got my ambassadors in there answering questions, my community manager, so part of my process is wowing my current students because without them I don’t have anything.

They are the people that are saying, “This stuff works.” They are the ones in the trenches. I’ve got to give tons of love to them and I do.

Another part of my process is engaging with my community, posting on social media, going live on Facebook, doing IG stories. Social media is part of my process so I do it consistently.

Another big part of my process is consistent, original content, not necessarily just what I’m posting on social but my podcast, what I’m doing right now. This is part of my process to hit $10 million at the end of the year.

If I don’t have weekly original content I’m not offering value to you. You’re not paying attention to the lessons and strategies I teach because I’m not showing up consistently. I’ve got to show up consistently. It’s part of my process. It’s part of my system.

In addition to that, just showing up live on video more has become one of my processes that I do, not just once a week on Facebook Live but I find other ways to get on video and get in front of my audience. I think that is important so I’ve made it part of my process. It’s part of my identity.

From there I strategically agreed to speak on stage this year in a few different places. Shout out to the Kajabi event. I’m going to be there. Social Media Marketing World, I’m going to be there and just a few other places that I want to get in front of a larger audience.

I want to expand my audience so I need to keep attracting new people into my world and take care of the ones that are already there. Speaking on stage allows me to reach a bigger audience.

I am engaging with my peers, those that do very similar things that I do like James Wedmore, Stu McLaren, Marie Forleo, Rachel Hollis, and my peers that I am dear friends with and want to be in their proximity because I think it is important to be around people that are also doing big things with you.

I’ve made it my mission to spend time with my friends that are also my peers in the industry. I talked a while back about that girls trip that Rachel and Jenna Kutcher and I all went on. We’ve got another one planned. We’re going to get in proximity.

You don’t have to get in proximity with big names but get in proximity with people that are doing big things. I think that is important because it inspires you. That’s part of my process this year.

My title on my team internally is The Visionary. One of my roles as the visionary is big relationships. I am responsible for creating big relationships so we can do cool things with other people and we can learn from other people and have real connections. So that’s what I’m doing.

Also, another big one for me is my morning rituals. I talk about this a lot but there are some things I do every morning no matter what. That’s part of my system.

Me showing up and working out and eating well and staying true to my weight-loss goals and writing down my goals every day and even walking Scout and you guys know that when I walk Scout I listen to podcast episodes that fuel me, that’s going to get me to $10 million this year.

All of those things make me stronger mentally and physically. We all know as an entrepreneur that being strong physically and feeling good effects everything you do. That’s part of my process.

All of this stuff I went over, you guys have heard me talk about this before, but I wanted to put it in a way that says, “This is my system,” and you have a system as well. This episode is not just me talking about myself. I like to give you examples but I want to be really careful.

It’s a fine line. I don’t want to make it all about me. Instead, I want to make it about you. So let’s flip this right now. What’s your system?

I don’t even care what your goal is. What is your system, every day, to do big things in this world? You have to have a system, whether it be daily things you do like the atomic habits that James Clear talks about or just overall big picture parts of your system like me putting my promotions on the calendar or doing my total immersion weekends with Chloe (my integrator) where we plan out what the next quarter’s going to look like and we get really dialed in.

I talk about that in Episode #222, Total Immersion Weekends. That’s part of my system. What does your system look like?

I want you to get clear on that and write it down because once you have a system you are not stuck. I never feel stuck when I have a system. Never. That is probably the thing I’m most passionate about on this episode.

Let’s move into the final one because I could go on and on about these systems.

I’m Stuck #4 – Fuel your brain

The final way to get unstuck is to fuel your brain. I’ve also talked about this one but I want to put it in a little bit of a different context.

You guys know that Hobie and I met because Hobie’s ex-wife worked at Tony Robbins and she was the head of HR. Every time I went into her office she had a picture of Hobie on her corkboard and I used to say, “Your husband is so hot.”

I know that’s so inappropriate. But I used to say it all the time. Then when they got a divorce, I did not know Hobie, she set us up on a blind date. So, Hobie’s ex-wife set us up on a blind date (many of you know the story) and Tracy eventually quit Tony Robbins and started her own high-end match making business.

She is a match maker. When she talks to men and women about going out on dates and meeting new people she really talks about becoming a better version of “you” so that you love yourself and you show up for somebody in that way and you can’t help but exude such great energy that it attracts people to you.

She has this thing called DSD. Tracy’s always talking to her clients about DSD. It stands for “Do Something Different.” When you’re in a rut and you feel stuck, unmotivated, or in the case of her clients, when they feel like they are just not attracting the right kind of people into their life that they can see spending the rest of their life with, she says, “DSD.”

She encourages them to go to a different place than they typically go to. Try something new. Even dress a little bit differently or go to a different gym or whatever it might be. Read different books. Whatever will inspire you in different ways, DSD.

For you, right now, I’m going to DSD you. You’ve got to do something different. If you always listen to business podcasts, not that I want you to stop listening to this one, but if you always listen to business podcasts then listen to one that’s entertaining or listen to a mystery podcast. Oh my god, there are so many good ones.

Dirty John is the best of the best but that’s kind of been done. Been there, done that. There are other ones. Mystery podcasts, entertainment ones, ones that will make you laugh, ones that will make you think. It doesn’t always have to be educational.

When you get out of the thing that you always do you start looking at things differently and it will inspire your business. Dirty John is a bad example. That is not going to inspire your business. I got off track there.

You can do things that inspire you. Watch movies that have nothing to do with a documentary about how to be an entrepreneur. Nothing like that. Just different things that will get you in a creative space in a different way.

I’m constantly listening to books that have nothing to do with my business. I recently finished Educated. Have you guys read that book or listened to it on Audible? It’s very intense, by the way, but it was a good read.

I went and saw Bohemian Rhapsody. That movie is excellent. And I do silly things like watch infomercials because back in my Tony Robbins days we used to create infomercials.

I know there is an art and science, true marketing, behind infomercials, so I will literally flip around on the TV and when I see a good one I watch it. Recently, IT cosmetics, their infomercial is so fricking good that I’m literally making a podcast about that infomercial and how to relate it to selling online courses.

That’s the kind of inspiration you can get. You have to DSD. Do something different. If these examples seem ridiculous to you then find your own. But don’t get in the rut of always doing the same stuff because, if you’re stuck, what you are doing is not working.

Get inspired. Maybe even take a social media detox day or I challenge you to a detox week. Step away from Instagram and Facebook and get inspired in different ways. Deal? You’ve got to fuel your mind but in a DSD kind of way. Shout out to Hobie’s exwife. Awkward.

We’re going to keep moving on and by moving on I mean we’re actually going to wrap this baby up.

A few things, let’s go over the list really fast:

  • Identify your security blanket and have a plan as to when you’re going to let it go.
  • Look at your loosey goosey expectations (that very scientific phrase I’ve made up) and ask yourself if these expectations (ones you’ve just decided on but not grounded in any goals or systems) are expectations of your mom or dad or spouse or friends or everyone you’re comparing yourself to or are these expectations set based on goals and systems that you have in place. If those are the expectations then you’re golden. But if they are not rooted in goals and systems those expectations need to go away.
  • Get your system together. Put it together. What does your system look like? I bet you have goals already. Most of my listeners are little go getters, little tigers like you. They are just like, “Bring it on. I’m ready. I’ve got my goals.” Do you have your system? Do you have a system for each of those goals? That’s what’s most important. Work your system. Forget about your goal right now. Work your system.
  • Fuel your mind by DSDing (Do Something Different).

Maybe it’s time to get really laser focused and get to work in a different way. It might be it. Maybe not. But if it is and kind of sounds exciting to you stay tuned. I’ve got lots more to share with you but also give me a little wiggle room to make sure I put this together in a way that’s going to wow you.

I hate to mention something that’s not solid yet but it is happening. I’m still fine tuning exactly how it will happen and what it will look like but I’m feeling very inspired by it because of all of you and the feedback you’ve given me.

You are literally the reason I’m doing this and your feedback is literally why I’m reshaping it the way I am. That’s the value and the magic of listening to your audience.

There you have it. I hope that you found value in this episode. Make sure to pay attention to those four different areas because, my friend, you do not need to feel stuck or unfulfilled or unmotivated or frustrated with where you are in your business.

You have everything in front of you to keep moving forward so use this episode to do so. Tell me how it works out for you. Give me your insight and share your wins in the Online Marketing Made Easy free Facebook group or even on Facebook or Instagram where I post so I can see it.

Okay guys, have a wonderful day. I will see you same time, same place next week. Make it a great week. Bye for now.

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