Transcript: The Uphill Battle of Being Your Own Boss & How to Keep Moving Forward

September 30, 2021


AMY PORTERFIELD: “Where you are in your journey, I hope you, too, will keep encountering challenges. It is a blessing to be able to survive them, to be able to keep putting one foot in front of the other, to be in a position to make the climb up life's mountain, knowing that the summit still lies ahead and every experience is a valuable teacher.” That excerpt is from Oprah's book, What I Know For Sure. I'm not sure who needs to hear that, but if you do, I hope it brings you comfort, just as it did for me.  

The last six months of 2021 were some of the most challenging months I've ever had, and I feel like it's time I peel back the curtain a bit and let you in, because it's been a while since I've done that. So sharing these stories and experiences with you isn't easy for me, but I believe that there are some lessons here that every entrepreneur could use and might need to hear right now. So I hope you'll come along with me and hopefully leave all judgments aside and use this episode as a reminder that entrepreneurship can be tough. But you and me, we're tougher. Maybe you're having a hard day, a hard week, or, heck, a hard year. I see you, and I hope that this episode brings you some sparks of inspiration to keep moving forward, because, my friend, you're doing important work. 

INTRO: I'm Amy Porterfield, and this is Online Marketing Made Easy. 

AMY: So I'm going to take you through three really big life changes that I experienced early this year, the first being I moved from California, where I've lived all my life, to Nashville; the second one, falling back into old patterns of eating my feelings, which has resulted in a lack of confidence around my body; and then lastly, getting a book deal, which sounds great, I know, but I'll explain some of the challenges around that.  

I want to let you in on these things because I don't believe that as entrepreneurs we’re meant to go at it alone. I believe there are so many empowering messages in every experience, and now that I'm at least more aware of the challenges that I've gone through—and I can't say I'm on the other side, but maybe just, like, getting a little bit closer to starting to move to the other side—I hope sharing these will give you hope and inspiration, too. It all comes back to that saying that I've said thousands of times, show your scars, not your scabs. And I feel like I'm closer to my scars with these things—although not fully healed yet, I'm just getting there, and so I don't think I'm sharing my oozy, woozy scabs. That sounds so gross, right? Meaning, like, they're not wide-open issues and challenges that I haven't had any resolve over, but again, I don't think they're fully healed yet, either. So anyway, this is a little glimpse into where I'm at. Usually, I don't go this deep into sharing this stuff. I just feel called to do so.  

And I want to remind you that no matter what you're going through, you'll get to the other side. I know. I know we will. We will. So join me for my stories and some lessons along the way. And most importantly, stick around until the end because as silly as it might sound, I have a “if you're multitasking, come back to me” moment. And I want to make sure that you get the full message, whether you're just starting out in your business, a couple of years in, maybe doing the side-hustle thing or you're a veteran entrepreneur, because at the end of the day, we all have more in common than we think. 

But real quick, can I ask you a favor? If you've been loving this podcast and finding value in it, I'd love it if you could just share it with one entrepreneurial friend who you think could benefit from it. Just send them a link. Send them a text. Say, “Hey, check out this podcast. You might like it.” Post about it on social, whatever you want to do. Send them a DM, because that's the main way you can support Online Marketing Made Easy is by sharing it with someone who we can help grow their business as well and maybe support them so they feel a little less lonely on the entrepreneurial journey as they go. So if you could do that, I’d be forever grateful.  

All right. So let's dive in.  

First, I've got to say that there's way bigger problems in the world than the problems that I have in my little life over here. I am well aware. I think this episode is more about my mental health and just protecting it and being careful about kind of what comes up for me and sharing that in case anybody else is struggling in those areas as well. So I just wanted to put it out there that I'm well aware I've got a great life, and I'm grateful for it. And sometimes I just struggle. And a lot of times I hear people that don't even know me say, “Oh, Amy, your marketing is so polished,” or “You come across so polished or professional.” And funny enough, I don't know if they mean that as a compliment or not, but I typically take it as not a compliment, because I know that, you know, the more gritty and real and vulnerable you are online, people tend to resonate with you more and connect with you more. I mean, I’ve seen it over and over again. And so I don't necessarily want to be all polished and professional. But many times, I'm just being who I am. Like, I'm not faking anything. Just, when I show up online, if I look polished, that's just how I do things. But it's funny that people use that word because on the other side, I'm sure you can guess, I feel anything but polished or professional.  

And I've shared with you on my podcast before that I definitely struggle with my mental health at times. I did an episode with Jasmine Star about depression and anxiety. And I think on that episode I said something about, like, it's been a while since I've had an episode of feeling depressed. Well, it hasn't been that long now. Like, it definitely reared its ugly head. So let me start from the top.  

I moved to Tennessee on December 31, 2020. Talk about closing out 2020 for good, right? I even woke up in a new state on the first morning of 2021. And we're in Nashville. Hobie and I moved here. Now, when we bought this house, we bought it in the fall of 2019, which is supposedly the most beautiful time in Tennessee. We're talking lush, green trees and perfect weather and fall festivals and feeling like I'm living in Southern Living magazine.  

So there we are, three months later, Hobie, Scout, and I come truckin’ into town from California, and it looks nothing like it did when we first bought the house. I'm talking nothing. Everything was dead. There wasn't a leaf on a tree. It was freezing cold and in the middle of winter, and it caught me off guard, more than I expected.  

I mean, when we bought the house, the lot across from us was thick and lush with beautiful trees. And honestly, I thought it was a park. Well, now I'm understanding that it was just my neighbor's front yard, and now you could fully see their house and their cars and all of the things. It wasn't a park. It was someone's front yard. And on top of that, we had no furniture, because we had decided to kind of start new in this house, so we sold a bunch of stuff and put some stuff in storage and came to Nashville with not a lot. So we basically got a house with no furniture and a blow-up mattress on the floor because some of our stuff was going to be delivered in, like, two weeks from then.  

So we rolled into town with, basically, no furniture, no family close by, freezing temperatures, and just each other, and thank goodness for that. But it just wasn't the warm welcome I thought it would be, and I've really struggled to find my footing. On top of all of this, I was born and raised in Southern California, and I've lived there my entire life. Heck, I even went to school at UC Santa Barbara, which is basically on the beach. So as this move was unfolding, I just instantly felt anxious and like maybe I made the wrong decision.  

Now, this is very dramatic, and I know I don't even want to talk about it because I feel like you all might just think she is being so silly. But I feel like I could cry right now because it just was so different than—this move was so different than I thought it would be, and that anxious feeling got heavier and heavier. Like, over the weeks and the months went by, it turned into depression, which started to feel like a constant cloud over my head.  

Anybody who's dealt with depression, we cannot judge why they're feeling depressed, their life situation, or anything like that. Sometimes depression just comes on no matter how great your life is. So anyone who’s had it, they know what I'm talking about.  

But for me, depression feels like this black cloud that just follows me everywhere. I've talked about it before in other episodes. And it's been so long since I felt that way. But I would wake up every morning with a racing heart and a racing mind. And because this anxiety has been the worst it's ever been, I started to eat my emotions again, which I've worked really hard to overcome. But all of these mixed emotions caused me to revert back to old behaviors, the behaviors that kind of made me feel safe and, like, they were comfortable. I know that if I'm feeling anxious or depressed and I eat something—this is embarrassing to even talk about—if I eat something, it just calms me. It's kind of like if you're a smoker, I would guess. I've never smoked, but if you smoke a cigarette, you just feel calm. Well, same thing with food, or if you're a drinker. So I'm sure there's some people out there that can totally understand.  

And I have to be transparent that this did affect my work life as well as my personal life. Like, for example, we did a launch in March of 2021, and we welcomed so many amazing new students into Digital Course Academy. So, like, if you're one of them, I love you. We had such a good time with you during the ten weeks. It was really incredible. Like, we loved our class of March 2021. But it was a really hard launch for me because I wasn't in the right headspace.  

Now, I got through it, but I could just tell my energy was different, and I really had to push to show up in a way as I always show up, because I was in it. I wasn't backing out. We were in the launch. I had to do it. But I struggled with that one.  

And I'm someone who thrives on change. I always say I actually love change. This was just a little bit of a bigger change than I was prepared for. And after reading some books around moving cross-country, I found out that for many—this is what some of the books said that I read—there's a grieving process, and I didn't even know that was a thing. I thought I was being overly dramatic, which some of you might think I am. But I miss so many parts of my old life that I had in California.  

And the thing is, I have to be careful—and I don't know if you all have ever done this before—but I almost make California and my life there and the home that I loved there, and my family's there and friends are there, a lot of my team members are in California, and I probably am making it even rosier than it was. I was ready for a change. I wanted to shake things up. But because this move has felt more unsettling than I thought it would, I probably am shining a brighter light on my life in California than it deserves. Do you know what I mean? Like, we make the old thing seem even better than it was? It’s not like I didn’t have struggles or mental-health issues or challenges in any which way in California. I had them all. But for some reason, it's easy to act as though things were easier then. I don't know. It's the weirdest thing.  

And I think this is where this whole experience, just having more anxiety and dealing with depression when I haven't had it this bad in a long time, it's helped me to have more compassion and understanding for my students who live with mental illness, whether that be depression or anxiety or panic attacks. It makes me be more compassionate for them because this is a hard thing to get through. Trying to run a business while managing these things is not an easy feat. And I want to acknowledge you and tell you that I see you, if this is your situation, too, that you deal with this. It's not easy, but I do believe it can be done. I mean, I've seen it done over and over, and I bet you have, too. I do believe we can do anything we put our minds to, but that might sometimes mean navigating a rough road. And so I just want to acknowledge that if you're doing both, if you're dealing with depression or anxiety or any mental illness and you're building your business, you deserve to be recognized and acknowledged.  

I really battled with this for six months, and although you can probably hear my voice crack when I talk about this stuff, I really am coming out the other end, which is why I'm ready to talk about it. I don't wake up with a racing heart anymore, and I feel sad, but I'm letting myself grieve California and my old life. And that doesn't mean I don't love Nashville. And let me tell you, one of the best things about Nashville is the people here. I've never met nicer people. And the friends that I have that I had when I came here that live in Nashville, they've literally embraced me with open arms. So I feel very fortunate.  

And here's another silver lining, and that is that Hobie and I have never been closer in our relationship. This has been hard for him, probably more so because he's seen me struggle, and you know when your loved ones see you struggle, they struggle as well. But it's brought us closer, and I'm really grateful for that.  

And the other part is, as I said, and I get it, my compassion for those entrepreneurs who are doing the best they can to manage their mental health while running their businesses, it runs deep. So a note to, again, all of the entrepreneurs out there that you feel alone or this feels really hard and you're dealing with stuff on top of it, find your community, because I have relied heavily on my friends here and my friends all over the world that I've always been friends with, and they’re the first calls I'll make when I'm struggling. So find some other entrepreneurial friends you can lean on, be open with them, drop any judgment of yourself because we're all in this together. And if you don't have a community, use mine, because you can find a lot of people in my community that will just love you up. So just head to the show notes, and at the bottom, you can click to join a Facebook group that I have or search on Facebook for other people creating courses in my communities. They will welcome you with open arms.  

Now, with all this said, I know that one day I'm going to jump on here and say that it feels like home to be in Nashville, but it just doesn't yet. And I’m accepting that a little bit more each day. So thank you for being a part of my journey. And if you've made a big move like I have and you're struggling, just know that your feelings are valid, because I've read a lot of books that say this is normal, and you are not alone.  

On to the second topic that I've already alluded to, and I would love, love, love, love to skip this part. So I've shared with all of you in the past episodes that I've always been very self-conscious of my weight, since I was a little girl, and it's been a long-term struggle. I kind of think it always will be, but maybe that's a limiting belief that's probably holding me back, so I'll examine that one later. But as you probably know, I've done a lot of work around body acceptance and changing my habits so that I can really deal with the thoughts and feelings and emotions that come up instead of just numbing them with food. And speaking about body acceptance, I even did a whole podcast series called “Talking Body”—I’ll link to it in the show notes—where I started to examine some of these big issues that I've always had around accepting myself. And so that was really eye opening and really good for me to do, and, hopefully, a lot of people got value from it.  

But during the six months after my move, the six months I just talked about, I really struggled with my weight, and I ended up reverting back to my old ways of using food as an escape from my emotions. And it's a daily battle to remind myself that I can survive every emotion. There's no feeling or emotion that is going to kill me. And maybe a few of you felt this, like, during COVID, but I already—because I already started to slip during 2020. Like, the end of 2020, I started to see the scale go up, and then, I added this whole move onto my life experiences. And then, it was a whole new level of reverting to old patterns, and it led to a significant amount of weight gain. So, meaning I lost about seventy pounds, and I have added at least half of that back. I know. So embarrassing to even admit. And so my jeans are tight, and I don't feel really great about where I'm at. In fact, I go into my closet, and most of the clothes I have don't fit.  

And I'm going to ask that nobody send me diet advice. I beg of you to not slip into my DMs with advice about how to lose weight or working-out regimens or anything like that. I think anybody going through this probably knows this, but it's not helpful. I know that those of you who might slip into my DMs with advice, I know your heart's in the right place. It just is really hurtful to me to get all that random advice when I'll be fine. I wouldn't be sharing it now if I wasn't in a better place, knowing what my plan is. But I just ask with all my heart that you don't do that.  

Okay. So, of course, I'm disappointed in myself, that I went backwards like I did, but I'm still also putting in the work. So I'm still continuing to work with my weight-loss coach, Corinne, who's been my coach for years. And she's really—funny enough, she's in Tennessee, so I actually get to see her a little bit more. And she is amazing and has been supporting me throughout this. And of course, there was a time that I kind of probably pulled back from her, more so than I'd like to admit, because I didn't want to deal with it. So, you know, none of that has to do with her. It's all about me. But she stuck with me through this whole thing. And I also have an accountability group with a few women that we check in with each other daily about this.  

I also know it's not going to do me any good to dwell on old videos or photos of where I look thinner, but sometimes that happens. So I'll be looking through old marketing stuff to find whatever, find an image or something. And I'm just like, oh. I look at it, and I'm, like, thirty pounds lighter, and I just want to crawl into bed. Or worse yet, I just want to eat a pint of ice cream or something, You know what I mean.  

So I just, that part kind of gets me, but I'm not going to dwell there. So when I catch myself, I'm just like, five, four, three, two, one—hello, Mel Robbins—I just changed my thought. And I talked a lot in old episodes when I was losing the weight about thoughts create feelings, feelings create actions, and actions create results. So I know that when I have a certain feeling, when I'm down on myself, it all comes from a thought. Like, you shouldn't have put back this weight. You should have been more disciplined. You should be a better example for your students. And what are people on the podcast going to think of you now? Like, all these thoughts that do not serve me, right?  

So, I am focused now on moving forward and becoming even stronger mentally, most importantly, in my ability to deal with thoughts and feelings that come my way so I don't eat through them. So my motto is when I have a feeling that makes me feel really bad and I want to escape it, I have to remind myself, a feeling’s not going to kill me. I can feel it. It will vibrate through my body. It will stay with me, and then it will pass. And I can choose a different thought that creates a different feeling. Easier said than done, but very, very doable. And I try to remind myself that if my best friend was going through this, a huge move and struggle to deal with emotions through healthy habits and, you know, some of the anxiety and depression, if my best friend was feeling this, I'd say, “Of course you are. That's got to be so hard.” And I would also say something about loving her, and I'm here for her. But funny enough, I don't say that to myself. Can you relate that it just doesn't come up when I'm talking to myself? But I'm more aware of it now, and I am starting to talk to myself in that way. So I'm trying to give myself that same level of grace I'd give to a very best friend.  

So here's what I want you to hear. If you can relate, if you're dealing with reverting to old habits or struggling with feeling confident in any which way, I know so well what that feels like. For me lately, I've been not wanting to do photo shoots or maybe turning down some speaking opportunities because I don't feel comfortable in my skin. But then I remind myself, and I think you should remind yourself of this as well, we need to be seen, and we need to be heard, and we need to be an example for those in our audience that might also struggle with the same insecurities that we are struggling with. And that's why I've decided to share this stuff with you today, because maybe you can relate, and maybe you won't feel so alone, because I know when I talk to people about it and they're like, “Yes, yes, I get it,” just I instantly feel a little bit better.  

I think that we need to be the example that we do the hard things anyway. Even though we have all those fears and insecurities, we do it despite those feelings. We do it because we're called to do it. We do it because we have value to add to this world, no matter what the scale says. Like, that's my personal experience. But for you, fill in the blank. No matter what. No matter what people say about you, no matter what support you might not have in your family, no matter what schooling you've had in the past, whatever is holding you back, for me, it often is the scale, but for you, whatever it is, we have to do it in spite of that.  

So here I am in all my rawness, I don't know whatever word else to use, but I just want to keep being an example of what is possible. And I know that my weight doesn't determine my ability to do amazing things in my business. I often remind myself that I made my first million at the heaviest weight I've ever been. If that's not proof that the weight doesn't matter in terms of how I run my business or how I add value, then I don't know what does. But I remind myself of that often. 

And I will say through some small steps and having patience for myself day in and day out, I do feel as though I’ve turned a leaf and I'm moving in the right direction of getting healthier. I've got a long way to go in terms of getting where I want to get to and making my jeans fit again, which I don't know if you can relate, but that's a mind game in and of itself. So I have a long way to go, but I feel like I'm moving in the right direction, which made me feel confident to share this with you today.  

A few things that have worked really well for me, it's definitely moving my body. I'm not talking about, like, intense workouts, although that's great, too. But even walks with Scout have changed my perspective. Also, every day, I listen to something to inspire me. Every single day. I mean, call it self-help, call it whatever you want, but there's something usually in my earbuds or I read something every day to help me be mentally stronger, paying attention to my feelings, knowing feelings won't kill me, journaling—you all know I don't love it, but I do it—and having an accountability group and a coach has been pretty amazing for me. So if you're experiencing anything similar, try some of those things. Even just one kick-start could really actually mean some big progress. So just know I see you. I know you. I love you. We're in this together.  

Okay. On to the third thing I told you I was going to talk about. Many of you might already know that I got a book deal, because I was promoting Gabby Bernstein's best seller, Masterclass—which I cannot recommend enough if you've ever thought about writing a book, and I’ll link to it in the show notes—but because I promoted that, I talked for the very first time about the fact that I got a book deal. Now, at the time of this recording, I still have not signed a contract. It's kind of a long process, so I'm not talking about who I got the book deal with or anything like that. But I did get a book deal.  

And what you might not know is that when I got the book deal, things got a little bit weird for me. My head was filled with doubts, and I felt stuck every time I tried to write. So a little back story. I spent four months before getting my book deal, writing a book proposal, and it felt great. I felt like I was in the flow. And then I had to write some sample chapters, and I was excited about telling the stories and sharing my journey of entrepreneurship. And although it was totally challenging—like, don't get me wrong. Writing that proposal was tough—I was able to do it, and I was really proud of that book proposal. So then I shopped it around to a bunch of different publishers, and I had a bunch of online meetings.  

Here's something that kind of sucks. So I guess back in the day—I wasn't part of this because this is my first real book—when you write a book proposal, sometimes you get to go to New York and show up at publishers’ offices, and they do meetings with you, and it's really cool. Well, because of COVID, that all changed. I don't even know if it will go back to that, but it sounded very glamorous, very, like, Mad Men, New York agencies doing the thing. And I'm obsessed with Mad Men, for the record. But my experience was not like that. I guess most people now, their experience is like mine, where you get on Zoom calls. Not so glamorous, right?  

But it was exciting to meet with all of these big publishers, and I connected with a lot of them. And then it came down to two publishers that I really, really liked and wanted to work with. And then the offers came in, and it was amazing. And the one I took was just way too good to pass up. And I'm excited to work with this publisher. But that part I can talk about later when I sign the deal. But really what I wanted to tell you about is that when I got the offer, when I accepted it and all of that, my progress just stalled for, like, the whole month of July.  

So I've got this writing ritual, and I'll write every morning for about sixty to ninety minutes, Monday through Friday. But in July, I would start to type, and then I’d do delete, delete, delete, delete. I'd write a paragraph and then just think, this is terrible. And all of a sudden I realized that I felt as though nothing was good enough, and I did not feel that way when I wrote my sample chapters. And then I realized what it was. I am now on the hook, and it's been a long time since I've been on the hook.  

When I think about being on the hook, I think about my corporate days, where I worked for somebody else. I produced content for somebody else. I got paid to create content and create plans and execute for somebody else. And a book deal essentially is I'm writing a book and I'm on the hook for somebody else, and it just got jumbled up in my head. I told you I've had some issues lately with kind of the thoughts in my head, right? And this is one of them.  

And so basically, as you know, I'm an entrepreneur, and you don't really have to answer to anyone anymore. And one of my big themes in my book is how to be your own boss, how to call the shots. And then here I am, feeling like I am working for somebody else or like somebody else is counting on me big time. And now there's a deadline, and there's expectations, and there's word count and contracts to be signed and lots of money on the line. Like, it's a thing. It just kind of threw me off.  

And really what it was, it was the pressure, and I internalized that pressure, and all of a sudden, writing this book was not fun, and everything I wrote wasn't good enough. And this made me realize, oh, my gosh, where else have I done this in my life? where something really amazing and good has happened, and then somehow I flip the coin and focus on the what ifs, and I make it mean something bad has to happen.  

So I just want to make sure you're really clear of what I just said. It's embarrassing, but I've admitted this one time before, so if you're a devout listener to this podcast, you know this. Sometimes when something really good happens to me, I self-sabotage, and I think that something bad has to happen. It's like if something good happens, something bad has to happen. I know that for some of you, that sounds really weird, right? But it's very real in my head. I've done it in my business a few times, like with launches. When a launch does really good, I'm looking for the next shoe to drop. It’s really embarrassing to admit, but it’s happened to me, and I feel like it's imposter syndrome. Like, whether you're twelve days into starting your business, twelve months, or twelve years like me, I still think it rears its ugly head. So I've dealt with it in the past, and I'm better at recognizing it and squashing it as soon as it comes up. But sometimes it takes some time.  

So I now am recording this in August. I've got it under control now. But, whew, July was a rough one. And I wanted to share this because I just wondered if maybe you've had something really good happen for you or you got this really great opportunity and all of a sudden you created all these well, what if this happens? What if that happens? Or what if I don't do well? Or maybe you put added pressure on yourself to make something even better than it needed to be because you wanted to prove yourself or you just kind of freaked out in your head about it. That's basically what I did. I got an amazing book deal, and somehow I turned it on its head to be something really stressful for an entire month, to be exact. My poor husband had to deal with me. But it happened. And so now here I am to talk about it, I guess.  

And for me, I'm just really aware of it now, even more so than I've ever been. So I don't think it's ever going to fully stop for me, that kind of dynamic I talked about. But I do believe that when we're more aware of self-sabotaging or imposter syndrome, when we’re more aware of it, we could be like, “Oh, there you are, old friend. I see you, and good bye. I’m not going to let you take over my entire month of July.” I wish I would have identified it sooner so that didn't happen, but it did. But at least I was able to stop it.  

And I think we all do have the ability to do so, and I just wanted to share that with you, because at the end of the day, I want to enjoy the good things that come into my life. I want to feel that I deserve them, and I want to just relish in them. And I want to say, of course, of course, I got this book deal. I've worked really hard for twelve years to build the business I have, and now I get to teach other people how I built this business through a book. That's exciting to me. I didn't necessarily do that, but now I'm doing it. I'm celebrating now.  

So anyway, I just wanted to share that with you because it was something kind of funky that came up for me and that I had to overcome over the last six months that was just yet another thing that I struggled with.  

So if you're multitasking, come back to me, because this next part is so important. This next part is what all of this is about.  

So what does all of this have to do with entrepreneurship and more importantly, you? Like, I've shared some little lessons I've learned along the way with all three of these issues, and I wanted to give you some insight that I've learned. But I actually haven't yet shared with you the most important lesson I wanted to share with you today, something I have learned over the last six months.  

So my struggle with my move to Tennessee, my struggle with my weight, and this overwhelming sense of responsibility with this book deal, these are all things that contributed to me having more anxiety and depression than I've had in a long time. But for you, you insert whatever you're dealing with. So I'm sure right away you can list one, two, maybe three things that you've struggled with over the last year or six months or whatever it might be. And then I want us both to say, “This is normal,” because my mind automatically goes to, “Oh, this isn't happening to most people,” and then I put myself down. Like, “Amy, get it together. What is your problem? You've got this great life. You have a wonderful husband. You have a successful business. Like, shut up. Get it together. Why are you feeling anxious? Why are you feeling so depressed when everything is so good?” And I go on, and I beat myself up.  

But one thing that I've realized in the last six months is, well, this is normal. The truth is that we all have our own struggles, and yes, they all look very different, and I totally understand mine are chump change compared to other people. I totally get that. But at the end of the day, we all have those uphill climbs. And here's where we can all feel empowered. What if we just stop making them mean that we're bad or that we're wrong or that we're different or that we're alone? And we take away all of that judgment and just neutralize it and instead say, “Yeah. I had a really bad time with this move, and I really got in my head about it, and it's normal. That's normal. Yeah, I struggled with this, and I struggled with that, and it's normal. I'm still in the game. I'm still here.” Entrepreneurship is hard, and that's totally normal, but we have to keep moving forward and doing the next right thing, whatever we think that is.  

For me, the next right thing is to know that it will get easier in Tennessee or to know that people gain and lose weight all the time, and I’m fortunate to have the tools and resources to get this weight off again, and I will. Or the fact that showing up for my morning ritual will just be what it is, and I'm going to keep going.  

To be totally transparent, I feel emotional even talking about all of this now, because sometimes I don't let myself just be normal. I feel like I have to be so good or so strong because how can I be a good leader if I'm not? And if you've ever felt this way, too, if you've ever questioned being able to be a leader or make an impact, I want to remind you and myself that even leaders have rough days, rough weeks, heck, even rough years. But the thing that makes a great leader is showing their humanness. Is that a word? So if we just give ourselves a little bit of a break once in a while, put down the judgment, self-judgment, and just do the work, I really do think it would be a whole lot more enjoyable to move through this roller-coaster ride called entrepreneurship.  

I feel like I could just cry right now because I feel so much of the judgment I judge myself with, but I know that you sometimes do that to yourself as well. And it doesn't serve us, my friends. So let's just put that down.  

Thanks so much for joining me today and allowing me to just share all of this. I hope that it didn't bring you down, but it inspires you and reminds you that you're doing big things in this world, and the world needs those big things you're doing. So keep moving forward even when it's tough and know that we're all in this together, and it does get easier. My grandma used to always say when I struggled, “This, too, shall pass. This, too, shall pass,” and I do believe her.  

I'll see you next week, same time, same place. Bye for now. 

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