Transcript: Why We Avoid Things In Our Business (& What to Do About It)

November 1, 2021

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INTRO: I'm Amy Porterfield, and this is Online Marketing Made Easy. 

AMY PORTERFIELD: Well, hello, there. Welcome to my first Tuesday Shorty episode. So you're going to start seeing two episodes every single week, and I'm really excited about this. We've given it a lot of thought, and I have things that I want to share around what I'm doing in my business, how I'm feeling about different things, what I'm challenged with, where I might be stuck, and what I'm doing about it. And I just want to share a little bit more of the behind-the-scenes stuff of running an online business. And I thought, well, what better way to do it than with an extra episode every single week? So every Tuesday, you can kick off your week with a Shorty episode, and I call it a “shorty” because it's going to be shorter than my typical Thursday, step-by-step, online-marketing strategies kind of episodes, so they're going to be a little bit different, but fully complement each other. And I hope you're absolutely going to love the addition to the podcast.  

All right, so, let's take a moment to talk about examining things you don't want to do in your business, and why.  

So, it's easy to quickly dismiss an opportunity or a task or an idea in your business and just say, “I don't want to do that,” or “No. That's just not for me.” And while the beauty of being an entrepreneur is that you don't have to do stuff you don't want to do—hallelujah. Stop saying yes to the things you don't want to do—I do kind of want to flip the script on that just a little bit, because I think you should still examine your why for avoiding something or having resistance around it. 

So, I like to ask myself, is the outcome of this project or task or thing that I don't want to do, is the outcome going to outweigh the feeling of being uncomfortable or the feeling of uncertainty when I'm doing it? So does the outcome outweigh those feelings I'm trying to avoid?  

So let me give you an example. Inside of my courses and my memberships, I sometimes do hot seats. And this last launch that I did of Digital Course Academy, never in my life have I done this, where I brought complete strangers up randomly on Zoom and let them ask me questions in real time. Now, that's just nerve racking in and of itself, right? I've always avoided that. Like, if you know me, if you've been in any of my courses, you know that I typically have an iPad in front of me, you send in questions in advance, I read the question, and I do rapid-fire Q&A. And it's always been really valuable.  

However, I've noticed that when I get people up on camera with me, the conversations are richer. My ideas tend to flow a little bit easier. But I've always resisted these hot seats. They make me feel nervous. So they make me feel nervous because I actually think, like, what if I don't have answers? What if they get up here, and I literally can't think of any advice for them, and I'm going to look like an idiot? So I have resisted this idea of hot seats. I've resisted the idea of bringing people up on the cuff—like, or, off the cuff. Is that the right term?—because of that nervousness that I feel, and I don't want to look like I don't know what the heck I'm doing. 

So, I’m sharing this with you. I'm hoping some of you are nodding your head, like, oh, yeah. I can totally relate.  

So for so long, I would tell my team, “No, I don't like hot seats. No, I don't want to bring people on just randomly. That's just not my thing.” But if I dug a little bit deeper then I realized, oh, I'm scared. Ooh, I don't want to look a certain way.  

And the truth of the matter is once I started doing these hot seats, and then in this last launch, when I brought people on, oh my goodness, it totally ignited something in me. In the moment, I felt the energy. In the moment, I felt like I was doing something really good. In the moment, I knew it was the right thing to do for my business. And—dare I say it?—I was enjoying it. But leading up to it made me nervous, and just the thought of it, I was like, mm, not my thing. I don't want to do that.  

But when you examine a little bit deeper, and you realize your why, and then you ask yourself, could the results of this, or the rewards of this outweigh all of those uncomfortable feelings? and if the answer is yes, I want you to at least try it. It's important to take the time to examine your insecurities and how those are showing up versus what comes up when you focus on your audience and those that you serve.  

So I have to do this time and time again, even thirteen years in. If you find that you're dreading something, are you dreading it because you feel insecure or you don't want to look silly, or is it genuinely not your thing? And if it's genuinely not your thing—like dancing on Instagram Reels is not my thing. I don't care. Yeah, I think I look silly, but beyond that, I just don't want to do that, so I'm not going to do that. Do I think the rewards of dancing on an Instagram Reel will outweigh my feelings of feeling ridiculous? No. I think there's other things I can do in my business that can be just as valuable. So that's an example of, like, I'm just going to be me, and ain’t dancing on Instagram Reels, at least 99.9 percent of the time. 

Okay, so, here's another example. I don't typically love speaking on stage. I'll do it every once in a while, but as an introvert, it's not my most favorite thing. But I also know it's extremely valuable to reach more people and have a bigger impact. So I'm willing to be uncomfortable. Especially, if it's for my own events with my own students, then, yeah, I'm doing it. But that doesn't mean I absolutely love it.  

And right before I get on stage, I typically look at someone on my team that’s standing by, and I'll say, “Remind me not to do this. I don't like this. I'm nervous. Remind me in the future, this isn't what I like to do.” And then I get up on stage, and I see their beautiful faces, and they're engaging with me, and they're cheering, and they're excited, and they're doing the exercises that I'm encouraging them to do from stage, and I get off stage, and I'm like, oh, that was totally worth it.  

So those are the moments I don't want you to miss, those moments that are going to stretch you and make you feel really proud. And so that's why I'm making this episode. I don't want you to miss out on the moments that are so rewarding because you're just saying they're not your thing or you're not a good fit for that or you're not going to do that because you don't want to. I want you just to look a little bit deeper. 

So there are a couple of things that you can do to help pay attention and get clear on if that feeling of dread is something that's truly serving you—like, yeah, don't do it—or if it's getting in the way.  

The first way is to check in with yourself after you've done the thing. So, for example, going into the hot seats with my students, I've heard myself asking my team if we should continue doing them. Like, right before I start hot seats, like, do you really think this is worth it? And then after, I'm up there saying, like, oh, my gosh, that was so great. Did you see what Sally did? And did you see what Jade did? And oh, my gosh, I love that. And oh my gosh, I'm so in love with so-and-so. Like, I just fall in love with these people I do hot seats with.  

So pay attention to how you feel after. If you're not sure if you're dreading it because it's just not for you or that you're scared, fearful, uncomfortable, if you're not sure, do it and pay attention to how you feel afterwards.  

Another thing is to pay attention to your audience, like, what they are saying about that thing you're doing.  

So let me give you an example. I just said that I don't want to dance on Reels. It really, genuinely is just not my thing. But Jasmine Star does it all the time, and because she's a dear friend of mine and because she says this publicly, I know this to be true. She says, “Yes, I feel silly making Reels.” Like, she recently made a Reel in the airport, and she was texting me, and she said, “Amy, here I am making this Reel in front of this luggage conveyor-belt thing that I was hoping no one would be around when I made this Reel.” And she was doing dance moves, for the record. And, like, my heart starts beating fast even talking about it. And there were a group of girls that were watching her do it, and she's like, “I can only imagine what they were saying to each other. Like, look at this girl thinking she's all that, dancing in a somewhat-empty airport.” But she said, “I felt ridiculous. I was embarrassed. I hated it in the moment, but I knew that it could totally pay off,” because she took that Reel from the airport, made it snazzy, did something cool with the people on stage, and put it all together, and it was, like, the coolest Reel I've ever seen. And the hashtag started trending for this event that she was speaking at. And so it was totally worth it.  

So, she's willing to feel silly and uncomfortable on Reels because she's seen the return. But again, you won't even know if you don't try it. So that's her own personal experience. I have a totally different experience, plus we do different things in our businesses. So, yeah, still not for me, but it is for Jasmine, even if she feels silly and uncomfortable. That's how you just have to check in with yourself and really know where you stand with this kind of stuff.  

So again, this tip about, like, pay attention to what your audience is saying, the attendees at this event loved this Reel because it included them when she got to the event, and she used the hashtag, and they were sharing this hashtag everywhere. Pay attention to that kind of stuff because if they're loving it, that just might be a little shot of confidence that you need to say, you know what? Even though I feel uncomfortable and awkward, the rewards totally outweigh those feelings. 

So maybe for you, it's going live on Instagram weekly. Maybe you dread doing this, but the comments and the feedback week after week are getting better and better and better, so you're going to keep doing it. Or maybe it's releasing a podcast every week. You dread hearing your voice, and you're like, this is so much work. This is hard. But your audience is loving it, and you're starting to see more and more downloads month after month. 

And, you know, I just got off of a podcast episode with my friend Susie Moore. And another thing to think about is that if you change the sentence—so “I have to record a podcast”—and if you're dreading it, change it to, “I get to record a podcast because I have a freaking podcast.” Do you know how many people want to have a podcast that don't and have no idea where to start? So if you are a podcaster, and you're dreading recording your podcast episodes—they make you feel uncomfortable. They're not easy yet. You're never sure what you're going to talk about—change the sentence. “I get to record a podcast episode because I have a freaking podcast.” Like, that's cool.  

So I think some of this is a little bit of a mindset shift as well. I literally did that. I'm batching four podcast episodes today, and I’m not feeling my best, and I just said to myself, “I get to do this. I've got a very successful podcast. I am so fortunate. I love this podcast, and I get to do that.” So anyway, a little perspective shift could help as well.  

Also, just pay attention to what's coming up for you and where is the resistance, and just get really honest with yourself and ask yourself what it's about. And I bet nine times out of ten, it's just about you feeling uncomfortable, uncertain—uncertainty will create some resistance as well—or just feeling silly, and so those might be the reasons you're not doing it. Those aren't good-enough reasons if you can say that the reward outweighs those reasons.  

So, there you have it. I want you to take the next step to really notice where a little bit of dread or resistance might be coming up for you in your own business. But then, I want you to take another action and examine why it's showing up for you. Some of the stuff is legitimately not a good fit for you. Like, you're not doing it, you don't want to do it, it's not going to bring you joy, and the rewards don’t outweigh how you’re feeling about the dread and resistance. That is true for some things. I'm going to say the majority of things, though, that resistance, that dread, that overwhelm is just part of learning new things, experimenting, being uncertain, not knowing if it's going to work, but knowing that maybe those rewards are going to outweigh it so it's worth sticking with it, at least for a little bit longer, until you can see the ROI. Is your return on investment worth it? Whether it be financial, whether it be audience growth, maybe it's personal growth, stick with it a little bit longer just to look at that ROI. 

All right, my friends. Thank you so much for hanging out with me here today. I hope you love this Shorty episode, and if you've got ideas for other Shorty episodes you want me to do, DM me. Just go to Instagram, send me a DM, let me know of an idea you have for a Shorty episode, and I just might be able to do it. 

And one more thing. If you've got a minute and you'd be so kind to do me a favor, if you like this podcast, would you share it with a few of your entrepreneurial friends? They could be new on their entrepreneurial journey, maybe been at it for a while, but if you could just simply just share this podcast or this specific episode if you think it would help them, I would greatly appreciate it. Just grab the link and send them a text, and then they can decide for themselves if they feel like it's a good fit, which I hope they do.  

All right. I'll see you on Thursday for more entrepreneurial goodness. I'll talk to you soon. 

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