Listen To My Latest Podcast Episode:

#688: How To Break Free From The Fear You Have Around Money with Mel Abraham

Listen To My Latest Podcast Episode:#688: How To Break Free From The Fear You Have Around Money with Mel Abraham

AMY PORTERFIELD: “Think about how you want to feel this year, because it doesn't really matter what you want to do. And this was hard for me to get my head around. But what if you accomplished all your goals at the end of the year, but you felt empty? You felt lonely. You felt defleeted. Defleeted, that is not a word. Defeated. You felt defeated. Then who cares if you reached those goals or not?” 

INTRO: I’m Amy Porterfield, ex-corporate girl turned CEO of a multi-seven-figure business. But it wasn't all that long ago that I lacked the confidence, the budget, and the time to focus on growing my small-but-mighty business. Fast forward past many failed attempts and lessons learned, and you'll see the business I have today, one that changes lives and gives me more freedom than I ever thought possible, one that used to only exist as a daydream. I created the Online Marketing Made Easy podcast to give you simple, actionable, step-by-step strategies to help you do the same. If you're an ambitious entrepreneur, or one in the making, who's looking to create a business that makes an impact and a life you love, you're in the right place, friend. Let's get started. 

AMY: If you know me, then you know that the Goal Digger Podcast, hosted by my friend Jenna Kutcher, who is also part of the HubSpot Network, is one of my favorite podcasts. What I love about Jenna's podcast is that she shares life and business tips, from productivity hacks and business strategies and mindset shifts to daily inspiration, and so much more. Episode 528. It's called “Surprise! I Wrote a Book!” It gave me all the feels because she shared the real raw story of what inspired her to write her very first book, and she shared her process. So good. Listen to the Goal Digger Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. And now, back to the show. 

Hey, there. Welcome back to Online Marketing Made Easy. Did you know that about 80 percent of people fail at their New Year's resolutions by February 1? I hate this stat. In fact, a study done by Strava found that most people actually quit even earlier, by January 19, which is why it's lovingly given the name Quitter’s Day. Who knew?  

But you and me, my friend, we are not going to be a part of that statistic. Quitters. Give me a break. That's not us.  

And so since we're kicking off month number two of 2022, I wanted to share the goals that I've set for myself this year. I hope two things come from this episode. One, you keep me accountable. And two, if you started to get off track, because now we're in February of 2022, I hope that this episode inspires you to get back on the horse and go after your goals. Or if not, it inspires you to keep doing what you're doing, meaning if you haven't fallen into the January 19 Quitter’s Day dilemma, then if you're still going strong, keep going strong. And so by the time this episode airs, I'm going to be committed to continuing to go strong.  

I'm also going to share a few strategies that I learned at a recent goal-setting workshop that I attended, which was ran by my friend Mary Hyatt, and these strategies are serving me really well. So the first strategy that she taught in her goal-setting workshop, which was actually inspired by Danielle LaPorte, is to identify the core feelings you want to have this year. So think about how you want to feel this year, because it doesn't really matter what you want to do. And this was hard for me to get my head around. But what if you accomplished all your goals at the end of the year, but you felt empty? You felt lonely. You felt defleeted. Defleeted, that is not a word. Defeated. You felt defeated. Then who cares if you reached those goals or not? So we went through this whole process, and I had learned this concept from Danielle many years ago, but when Mary reminded me of it, I was like, oh, this is important.  

So, she took us through this exercise to identify how we want to feel in 2022, and I thought I would just share it with you. You know on my Tuesday Shorty episodes I tend to take you behind the scenes and share a little bit of the personal stuff that I'm working on and going through and all of that. So I thought I would share these with you. At first, I was kind of embarrassed. Like, do you really want to hear how I want to feel in 2022? But here you go.  

So the feelings I came up with: number one, trusting; two, courageous; three, energized; four, in the zone; and five—this one's kind of weird—luminous. So those are the five core feelings I want to feel over and over and over again, not just at the end of the year when I reach my goals, but while I'm working on my goals.  

So I thought this was a really cool process. And you can do it, too. You can just sit down and ask yourself, how do you want to feel? And I will tell you right now that I could only think of, like, five feelings, like sad, happy, energetic. I couldn't even think of a lot of feelings. But if you do a Google search of a list of feelings, all these words will come up on Google. So do yourself a favor and use the Google for this because I want you to go beyond those feelings we just talk about every day. 

The first one is trusting, because as I went through my most-tough year of 2021, depression, anxiety—you've already heard me talk about it—I found myself not trusting the timing of things; not trusting the process; not trusting myself, which is not normal for me; not trusting the universe or my faith. And I always looked for proof that things weren't going to work. That's how untrusting I was. Like, see? I knew it wasn't going to work. So I'm not typically like that. But 2021, I was more like that than not. So I want to come back to trusting myself and the decisions I make and my ability to bounce back when the decisions don't pan out as I planned. So I'm trusting the process, the universe, myself more and more in 2022.  

Number two, courageous, because I have big plans for my company this year. I want to scale, I want to try new things, and I want to incorporate new strategies. And that means that I have to be courageous enough to fail and courageous enough to put myself out there and go after something I have never done before. 

It was so funny. When I was talking to Joanne, who is the Korean Vegan—I don't know if she's going to be on the show before or after this episode, but if you haven't heard that episode yet, it's either coming out, or go search for it. One of my most favorite episodes ever. So the Korean Vegan. I won’t even give her story away. Phenomenal. But here's the thing. She said something really interesting on that episode. She said, “I don't like to mess up and fail and not be good at something, so I typically only do things that I know I'm going to be good at.” And I thought, “Wow, that's really brave to admit,” because it's very true for me, but I didn't want to admit it out loud, let alone publicly on a podcast. But when she said it, isn't it funny when you hear someone you really admire say something; it kind of gives you permission to embody it for yourself if it's true? And that is true for me. But I can't reach my big goals if I only do things I'm good at. So enough of that, right? We're not going to have another year like that. So I got to be courageous. 

Okay. Next up, energized. I want to feel excited and lit up to do the projects and the goals that I'm working towards. I want things to make me feel really happy that I'm working on them and just have that energy running through my body. So I want to feel energized.  

I also want to feel in the zone—that was another feeling that I wrote down—meaning I'm working on the right things, I'm willing to push through when things get tough, and I'm not resentful of the projects I'm working on. If you're an entrepreneur, you know what it feels like to be resentful to work with clients you don't want to work with or work on projects that you're like, “Why am I doing this? Why isn't someone else in the business doing this?” And then if you're a one-woman show, you're like, “Oh, I am the only one in the business, so that's why I'm working on it.” But I want to feel that flow more. And I know what it feels like, you know what it feels like, when you’re just working on the things that you're meant to work on. I want more of that.  

And then this final one, the kind of weird one for me, is luminous, which to me means shining from the inside out. And I think that shows up by working on my mental health and my physical body so that I feel good inside, and it's radiating on the outside. And I just want to remember to put myself first so that I can show up for everyone else. And this year, what turned around for me when I got really in the dark zone of the depression and anxiety is that I had to put my mental health first. I've never experienced that at such a high level, so that meant that I did therapy. It meant that I went to Onsite in Nashville, which was a therapeutic retreat for six days. It meant that I did a lot more journaling. It meant that I talked to my coach. Like, I had to do all the things. I started to take supplements. Like, it had to be a focus.  

Okay. So, before we go on, it's your turn. What are three to five feelings that you want to experience over and over and over again this year? Just blurt it out right now if you're alone. How do you want to feel? And write it down, because I can promise you, every single day in 2022 I'm going to remind myself of those five feelings. It's going to be somewhere that I can see it every single day.  

All right. So now that I've talked about how I want to feel in 2022, and you're going to choose your feelings as well, I thought I'd share some of my goals. So I actually have eight goals, but I'm going to share five of them with you here.  

Okay. Goal number one. Now, if you're an OG, I'm embarrassed that you're going to hear this right now because this is a goal I had, I guess it was two years ago, and I did not reach this goal. Now COVID got in the way, but let me just tell you what happened. So, the goal is to do the 29029 challenge. Now, this is that challenge where you climb this mountain a certain amount of times during a certain amount of time. Like, you've got a certain amount of hours to do it, like thirty-something hours. And if you do it, you've climbed Everest. It's like the equivalent of Everest.  

Now, back in 2020, Hobie and I started training for this when we lived in California, and I hated the training. I did not like it. We would go out on walks for, like, three hours, and we would find these big hills, and we would train together. And I was like, I hate this. And then COVID hit, and they gave us the option to get our money back or transfer our entry to another year. And I was like, “Hell, yeah, I'm getting my money back.” And so then I called up Stu and Amy McLaren, who you guys all know they are my dear friends, and they were going to do the challenge with us. And I'm like, “I got my money back. You did too, right?” They’re like, “No! We transferred it to the next year.” I'm like, “Oh, I didn’t.”  

And then this is what happened. I watched Amy and Stu go through this experience as a couple this year, and while I was watching it, I thought, Hobie and I need to do this. Something inside me—and I don’t like physical challenges. But here’s the thing. Well, let me go back. 

So something inside me was like I’ve got to do this. And I watched Amy and Stu. Then I literally was texting them the whole time, cheering them on. I got to talk to them right after. And they're like, “We are so proud of ourselves for doing this.” And Stu shared with me, “I'm so glad Amy and I got to do it together.” And I asked Stu, I said, “Do you think I should do it again? Do you think I should give it a shot?” And he said that it gave him this level of confidence like he could get through something really mentally and physically hard, and he said it changed him. The experience changed him. And so I turned to Hobie, and I said, “I want that.” I want to do that with Hobie, but I want to prove to myself that mentally I can manage myself, mentally I can get through something that's going to be very difficult both physically and mentally. Like, I want to know that I'm strong enough to get through that.  

So the goal is to do it in September after the Digital Course Academy launch. But here's this one caveat The one that we want to go to is with Stu and Amy. They're going to do it again, and they're going to bring a group, but it's already full. So I'm trying to get Stu to get us a spot in there if somebody cancels. So I don't even have a spot yet, but I just, I'm putting it out into the universe that it's going to happen. Now, I can go see if there's any others that are available, but that time slot was so perfect after the DCA launch, so wish me luck. 

Okay. Goal number two, I cannot tell you a lot about it. I don't even know a lot about it yet. But I have a goal to create a certification program in my business. I don't know what it looks like. I have never done this before. I don't have the how, but I'm starting to put together some ideas. So I can't tell you anything more. But the goal is to put together this certification program this year and then launch it in early 2023. So that's something I'm working on. I think it’s just a really cool way to get more people into launching and creating courses and helping others do it. 

Okay. That's all I'm going to say. I actually have a director of content, and I got to read you a note right here. She was reading over my outline for this episode, and the note in a Google Doc says, “I'm not saying we shouldn't include this goal that you set, but I'm just asking the question, do we want to get a little more clarity on what we think this might look like before we share it?” And she's totally right. I probably shouldn't be sharing it, because it's so, so new. It's like from one to 100 of completion, it's, like, negative ten right now. So, ____(15:33), my director of content, you are so right, but I still shared it. 

Okay. Goal number three is that I am taking a sabbatical. You guys, I've set this goal before. Like, I might be the girl that—what's the day called? I got to go back up to my notes. What was that? The Quitter’s Day on January 19? That might be me for some of these goals in the past, but it's not going to be me this year. So I'm taking a sabbatical. I’ve been dreaming of taking a sabbatical for years. I’ve told Hobie that I wanted to do it. I even planned it one year, and I didn't do it. So obviously, if you follow Michael Hyatt, this is absolutely inspired by Mr. Hyatt himself.  

But here's the thing. I moved to Nashville. Hobie and I bought a fixer-upper lake house. And right now, it's under construction. It should be done in May, and we, then, get to enjoy it next summer, where this summer it was under construction, so we didn't get to do anything at the lake, really. Just a little bit, but not much. But I watched Michael take his sabbatical this year. I literally was with him on some of those days, and it was so cool to see him being totally unplugged and really just enjoying his time. He's done this for years and years and years. So, I am going to take off the last week of May because my sidekick, Cho, Chloe, is getting married, so I'm going to take off the last week of May and then the whole month of June to spend at my lake house. Actually, until, like, the last few days of June because I've got a leadership retreat that I think we're going to do at the lake house.  

But here's the coolest thing. When I told Hobie that I wanted to take off essentially the whole month of June, his whole face lit up. He's never had me for a whole month to himself, and he's very excited about this, and the fact that we're just spending it at the lake, I mean, come on. Now, please keep me accountable. If you see me working in June, I mean, we'll probably post on social. I’ve got a team to support, right? But if you see me actively working, call me out, because I’ve got to stick to this one. 

Okay. Goal number four, create a project plan for my new book. And the goal is to do this by March 31. So March 31, I’ve got an entire project plan dialed in for how we’re going to promote my book. Now, here is the crazy thing. My book actually launches in January 2023. Does that feel like a lifetime away? Yes, it does. However, these things take time, and we are so excited to introduce this book to all of you and really start talking about it and diving into some of the cool content that we've created. So with that, we need a really solid marketing plan that will turn into a project plan that goes into Asana. You know, all the things. But I'm going to do it with Chloe, who we call Cho. I'm going to do it with Cho, and she's going to really spearhead it.  

Which brings me to something I've been wanting to share with all of you. If you're an OG, if you follow this podcast, if you're in Digital Course Academy, if you're in List Builders Society, if you've been in our world, if you've ever been to one of our Entrepreneur Experience live events, then you know Cho. And this—well, I was going to say this year—in 2021, at the end of 2021, Cho and I started having some really big conversations—she's been with me for seven years—about her wanting to transition out of the CMO role, so the chief marketing officer, into a contractor role to work with me on special projects. So for those of you who know who I'm talking about, you might have just went, “Holy crap.” And it is a big deal. So Cho has been my ride or die, my sidekick. When I went through getting out of my partnership, she was literally my lifeline. And she's my best friend. I'm literally in her wedding in May. And so she's been with me seven years. She started as a project manager, moved her way all the way up to CMO, managing the marketing team, full of tons of people, and she is beloved on this team.  

But I just knew she wanted to do something different and change things up. I'm so blessed that she's not leaving to work for somebody else. She genuinely wants to still work with us. She just wants to do it in a different way, on her terms as a contractor. And so I am always going to support somebody who wants to make a change or transition to better their lives. She wants more balance. She wants more space. I get it. And so with that, she is going to be a contractor, and she's going to work on special projects with me. So I don't lose her. Thank God. Hallelujah. And she's going to work on the entire book-marketing plan along with some other programs, probably one being the certification program that I mentioned.  

So I feel like she's magical. She's my little unicorn, and she's going to do some amazing things with this book, so I'm really excited about it. I mean, believe me. When we finally made the decision kind of, like, together—because we're so deep into the business together, it wasn't something I was surprised about, but it's something that we had to talk about over time—and so I cried and cried, and she cried and cried. And once we got past the crying phase, then we're like, What could this look like? And that's when this beautiful plan came together as her working on special projects. So, I’m very excited. I can’t wait to see what we do together. 

So, we have a goal: March 31, be done with the entire plan of how we’re going to market the book, start implementing it, and we’re going to start focusing on presales of the book. 

Okay. Final goal, goal number five is to create a three-year vision for my company by January 31. One thing that Michael and Mary Hyatt teach is that when you're setting goals, don't set all of them to be due December 31. And so I love this approach, and I like to spread them out, and I did a really good job of doing that this year. So one of them is in September, that climb. One of them is in March, with the book. This one's January 31 to really flesh out my three-year vision for the company. And to be honest, I've never been really good at creating a long-term vision for the company. I'm great at creating a one-year vision, but looking that far out always scared me.  

But here's something that Mary taught me in her workshop that she did. She said that when you make a goal, 10 percent is up to you and 90 percent is up to the universe or your god or whatever your higher power looks like. And basically, she's saying, funny that you think you're in control of everything: 10 percent is you; 90 percent is the universe. Now, when I first heard this, I was like, “Um, step back a bit. I control more than 10 percent.” But then as I started to look at how this year kind of unfolded, or 2021, I mean, how 2021 unfolded, I was like, “Oh, god. There's so much of that that I could not control.” And I tried to control all of it, which is probably why I got myself into the funk that I got myself into. 

So, number one, I'm not going to hold on so tight like I have been. And then the other thing is that Mary reminded me that these goals can change. Like, that doesn’t mean that when you're not reaching them, you should change them. But life is going to get in the way, and some things might need to be tweaked here or there, and be open to that. And I thought, yeah, I can get behind that. Absolutely. So, you know, creating a three-year vision, knowing that that three-year vision will absolutely change over the years, I was more inclined to create it. But then just looking at all of my goals, knowing I control 10 percent, which means I'm going to go hard on that 10 percent. I'm showing up. I'm changing my habits. I'm going to be a different person. I got to be a different person to reach my goals. But at the same time, I'm not the only one in charge here. And I think Gabby Bernstein, who's been on this podcast, would totally support this, that you got to let go. You got to let go and not try to control the whole thing, because, as the title of her book, The Universe Has Your Back, and I do believe that. 

Okay. So, with that, those are the five goals I wanted to share with you today, and maybe I'll share more goals as future episodes. But now it's your turn. I want you to choose those feelings. How do you want to feel this year? If you set goals and you're already kind of pushing them back, like, “I don't want to look at them. They're too hard. They’re stressing me out,” let’s revisit. Let’s make sure you’ve set up goals that have you excited and challenged. And if you're already charging forward with your goals, just keep on going, my friend.  

Thanks so much for tuning into this Shorty episode. I love when we get to hang out and go behind the scenes, and I get to share a little bit about what my entrepreneurial journey looks like.  

And if you have some friends that you think, “Wow, they would find this valuable,” if they're starting their entrepreneurial journey or they're deep into it, please share this episode. So just go to wherever you like listening to podcasts, make sure you follow Online Marketing Made Easy, grab the link, and share it with a friend. I'd be so very honored. 

All right. So I will see you Thursday for more entrepreneurial goodness, same time, same place. Talk to you soon. 

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