Transcript: Lacking Self-Worth? Try These 4 Practices

September 6, 2022

AMY PORTERFIELD: “I want you to brag. I know, we all hate bragging, and I'll be the first to tell you it's not my favorite thing. It kind of makes me cringe. But hear me out. I think having a community of like-minded people or people who have similar goals, say, like building a successful business, I think it's so important that you surround yourself with people like that. And I think an important piece of having that is having a space where you can share your wins, and people will actually understand the level of commitment and the gravity of your accomplishment.”  

INTRO: I’m Amy Porterfield, ex-corporate girl turned CEO of a multi-seven-figure business. But it wasn't all that long ago that I lacked the confidence, the budget, and the time to focus on growing my small-but-mighty business. Fast forward past many failed attempts and lessons learned, and you'll see the business I have today, one that changes lives and gives me more freedom than I ever thought possible, one that used to only exist as a daydream. I created the Online Marketing Made Easy podcast to give you simple, actionable, step-by-step strategies to help you do the same. If you're an ambitious entrepreneur, or one in the making, who's looking to create a business that makes an impact and a life you love, you're in the right place, friend. Let's get started. 

AMY: Real quick, I wanted to talk to you about another podcast that I think you might love. It's called Being Boss, and it's hosted by Emily Thompson, and it's really just an exploration of not only what it means but what it takes to be a boss as a creative business owner, freelancer, or side hustler. So Being Boss is an amazing resource for anyone interested in getting inspired and, more importantly, getting started as their own boss. 

So, head to wherever you get your podcasts to check out Being Boss. And I recommend starting with her episode on releasing the sense of urgency in business. Especially coming back from my sabbatical, this episode was a great reminder to slow down and be intentional. You're going to love it. 

Hey, there. Welcome back to another episode of Online Marketing Made Easy. I hope you’re having a wonderful day. 

I've been thinking a lot about this idea of self-worth, and that's what I wanted to talk about today, and how fleeting self-worth can actually be. As an entrepreneur, it feels as though one moment you're on top of the world. You feel confident. You know what you're worth. You're just, like, making it happen left and right. And then the next moment, something happens that knocks you off your game, and you're wondering what the heck you were even thinking. You feel absolutely worthless, like a failure, and you're questioning everything. Please tell me I'm not alone here. Can you relate?  

So what the heck are we supposed to do when our self-worth feels like it's just been trampled by a herd of elephants? Over the years, I've learned a few things that I like to practice on a pretty consistent basis, and I think that these things might help you as well. So I want to talk about them. 

First one up, give equal airtime to positive thinking. My coach, Corinne Crabtree, she always says that if you're going to beat yourself up mentally, if you're going to think that you're not worthy or you're not good enough, if you can catch that in the moment, it's only fair to give yourself equal airtime to the flip side of that.  

So for me, it would look something like this: something happens—you know, I don't reach a goal or somebody on my team that I love dearly quits or something like that—and I start to beat myself up. Like, what is my problem? Why does this keep happening to me? I feel so unlucky, or I'm not cut out to do this. This is too much. Like, this is what happens in my mind. And if I catch myself in the moment, I say, “Okay, I just had my little pity party. Now what if I were to give equal airtime to the opposite of all of that?” Like, I am doing the very best I can. I am a good leader. I have so many loyal employees that have been with me for years and years and years. And I know that everything happens for a reason, so it's all going to work out because it always does. Like, just giving yourself equal airtime in the moment is magical. But I will say it absolutely does not happen naturally. I have to work on this every single day, and sometimes I'm like, “No, I don't want to give myself equal airtime,” but I just do it.  

Okay, so here's the second thing that you can do when you're not feeling worthy. You've got to take a trip down memory lane. Now, this one I'd love for you to do ten-minute journaling. Just grab a pen and paper and start writing down the things that you've accomplished—and let's make it easy—you've accomplished in the last year or last five years. If you want to go even further back, go for it. But this refreshes your memory and illustrates how you've stuck with something or how you've accomplished something in the past.  

You know, I actually wrote my notes for this episode before I recently read a book that I keep talking about called The Gap and the Gain. It’s by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. And sharing this with you right now reminded me of something I learned in that book. I just finished it. But they talk about measuring backwards, and instead of always measuring yourself to an ideal—like a goal, something you want to get to—instead of measuring yourself always to an ideal, measure backwards.  

And it's the same thing, like take a trip down memory lane and think about all the things that you've accomplished in the last year, in the last five years. I think yourself five years ago wouldn’t even know how to talk to the you you are now. They'd be like, “What's going on? Who are you? What's happening?” because they'd be awestruck with how much you've accomplished and who you are today.  

So write down, flood your mind, with all the things that you have accomplished, because I promise you, this gives you solid and tangible proof that you are moving forward, you have done amazing things in your life, and you are so worthy of everything that is to come.  

All right, next up, read or listen to something that's inspiring. Now, many of you do this, but some of you want to do this, but don't do it yet. When you read a new book—or for me, it's usually always Audible. So when I tell you I read a book, I bought the physical book to highlight some areas that I wanted to remember, but I listened to the whole book via Audible. I just enjoy that so much more—and so, anyway, listening to a book, reading a book, a physical book in your hand, listening to podcasts that inspire you, oh, my gosh. I can promise you right now that is going to get you into the place you need to be in. 

And I want you to do this every single day. So Shonda Rhimes has a book called Year of Yes. She wrote the book Year of Yes. It's one of my absolute favorites. And I, of course, have it on Audible. And so I literally go back to chapters that I've listened to, like, ten times when I need a shot of inspiration.  

So beyond just listening or reading something that will inspire you every single day, I also think you should keep a folder, a digital folder of some sort, something on your phone, that it's, like, your go-to inspiring, let's say you can keep your go-to inspiring podcast that you love to go to, or those audiobooks that you love to go to. Just maybe even keeping a mental note, “Oh, here's three things I can always go back to if I need a shot of inspiration.” Relistening to things, kind of one of my most favorite ways to just get in the right mindset.  

And also, so I mentioned I love Year of Yes. But another book, actually two books that I go back to a lot via Audible, are two of Mel Robbins’s books. So her newest book, High 5 Habit, I think it's excellent; and also The 5 Second Rule. I love that book. It always gets me going.  

So anyway, I always have my trusted go-tos. I have a few others, but those are two of my favorite. So make sure that you know what inspires you and just keep going back to it again and again, or add some new inspiration to the mix. But you've got to have it ready when you need it most.  

And then next up, I want you to brag. I know, we all hate bragging, and I'll be the first to tell you it's not my favorite thing. It kind of makes me cringe. But hear me out. I think having a community of like-minded people or people who have similar goals, say, like building a successful business, I think it's so important that you surround yourself with people like that. And I think an important piece of having that is having a space where you can share your wins, and people will actually understand the level of commitment and the gravity of your accomplishment.  

So we have a community for my Momentum members. These are all people who have gone through Digital Course Academy, my program, and then moved into a monthly membership with me called Momentum. And in these communities, we encourage our students to brag. We say, “Share something exciting that you've accomplished. It could be a huge thing or a small thing. It doesn't matter.” And what I love so much about these communities and when people actually share their wins, are all the reactions they receive. I know that's going a long way. I love reading the comments. They cheer on one another. They get inspired by each other. They're supporting each other. It's huge. And you know that person who shared it, maybe it was kind of scary for them to share it or they're just like, “I'm not usually in groups, posting things,” but then those comments come flooding in, and it fuels them. It kind of gives them life in the moment when they probably needed it most, and it's boosting their self-worth.  

So, yes, while it may feel uncomfortable to brag or share your success, think about how great it feels to support someone else when they share theirs. Right? So why would it be any different?  

So I want you to find a community of like-minded people, and then maybe make it a practice to actually share your wins every single day with them. I do this a lot with my girlfriends who are in the industry that we text each other almost daily. And when something good happens, I will absolutely jump on there and share it. I also feel as though we as entrepreneurs need to remind each other of what's possible and what's working and what's got us lit up so we can help each other. So I think it's important.  

So there you have it. I felt like it was important to record this episode because I wanted, first, to remind you that you are worth it, that you are important, that it's important that you get your message out into the world. I have no doubt. But on the days that you doubt it, on the days that you're not feeling it, try some of these things that I shared with you here, because I only teach what I've done. And the reason I've done all of these things is that I, too, have moments where I don't feel as though I'm worthy. We all do, right? And so I use these on a pretty consistent basis, and I thought you might want to use them as well.  

Next time you're questioning your self-worth, come back to this episode, sweet friend; listen to it again to get that little boost of inspiration you need; and then get back out into the world because your audience, those that you serve, they need you. 

Sending all my love your way, and I cannot wait to connect with you again soon. So remember, we have Wisdom Wednesday, where it's, like, a ten- or fifteen-minute episode of a little nugget from an episode that was really popular and a reminder I want you to hear. And then Thursday, a full-length episode, usually where all my interviews are or my solo, how-to episodes every Thursday. So don’t miss them. 

I'll talk to you again soon. Take care. 

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