Transcript: Why I Show Up Online As 100% Myself

February 7, 2023

AMY PORTERFIELD: “As someone who is sensitive about what people say about her online—like, as much as I'm working on not caring what other people think or say online; I’m just staying true to myself—as much as I work on that, it still absolutely stings when I see something really nasty online about what I said or what I did. So the fact that that does still get to me, when I heard about Paris creating her own persona, I have to tell you, for a hot minute, I thought, ‘Wait a second. Is this something I could actually pull off?’”  

INTRO: I’m Amy Porterfield, ex-corporate girl turned CEO of a multi-seven-figure business. But it wasn't all that long ago that I lacked the confidence, the budget, and the time to focus on growing my small-but-mighty business. Fast forward past many failed attempts and lessons learned, and you'll see the business I have today, one that changes lives and gives me more freedom than I ever thought possible, one that used to only exist as a daydream. I created the Online Marketing Made Easy podcast to give you simple, actionable, step-by-step strategies to help you do the same. If you're an ambitious entrepreneur, or one in the making, who's looking to create a business that makes an impact and a life you love, you're in the right place, friend. Let's get started. 

AMY: I want to tell you about a podcast that I recently discovered, and it's part of the HubSpot network, and I am loving it. It's called The Shine Online, hosted by Natasha Samuel. And she interviews the brightest entrepreneurs she knows to bring you no-fluff advice—you know how I feel about that—honest discussions about the mental-health and lifestyle aspect of entrepreneurship; and actionable strategies and success stories of those who've mastered the art of shining online. And it's a really conversational podcast, which I love. I personally loved her recent episode. It's titled “New Year, New Strategy: My 2023 Content Predictions,” and she dives into her expert content predictions for the upcoming year. It is good. So you can listen to The Shine Online wherever you get your podcasts. 

Hey, there. Welcome back to the Online Marketing Made Easy podcast.  

I am so excited to be jumping into this Shorty episode today because I think it's an important one. But before I get to it, I just want to say I'm in an L.A. hotel right now. I have a bunch of in-person interviews to do tomorrow, and so I flew into L.A., and I'm recording this from my pod—I mean, not from my podcast studio—from my hotel room because I don't have access to my podcast studio. So I didn't want to get behind in podcasts. I'm dedicated to getting two out every week.  

So in case you're new, every Tuesday, we do a Shorty episode, which is one of these types of episodes today, where I'll quickly kind of riff off something I'm seeing, something I've learned recently, go behind the scenes of my business, or just share something I've been thinking about in my own business that you could apply to yours. And then every Thursday, they’re longer episodes. I usually do an interview or a step-by-step-style strategy training in the episode. So Tuesdays are short; Thursdays are long. Tuesdays go behind the scenes, usually; and Thursdays are all about online marketing in so many different ways. Like, we look through the lens of so many different industries and styles of businesses and business models. So it's really a great mix.  

So today you've got a Shorty episode, and here's what I wanted to talk about. I read this article that back in the day when Paris Hilton was in her heyday, when she was everywhere—you know, she's the O.G. of reality TV—well, she created a persona that didn't fit her true personality. Now, looking back, if you watched anything she did back then, this probably isn't a total surprise. However, it's an interesting concept because here's why she did it. If she created a persona that wasn't technically her real personality, when she got negative feedback online, when there was negative criticism, she didn't ever take it personally because she knew that the person they were attacking online wasn't really, truly her. And I thought, “Wow, that could be kind of amazing.” Like, in other words, she managed to avoid one of the hardest parts about being in the limelight and having a personal brand, which was by not really being herself online.  

Now, as someone who is sensitive about what people say about her online—like, as much as I'm working on not caring what other people think or say online; I’m just staying true to myself—as much as I work on that, it still absolutely stings when I see something really nasty online about what I said or what I did. So the fact that that does still get to me, when I heard about Paris creating her own persona, I have to tell you, for a hot minute, I thought, “Wait a second. Is this something I could actually pull off?” 

So before I tell you the answer to that question, I want to make sure that you are sharing this podcast with other people who would find it valuable. So really quick, if you have an entrepreneurial friend who's not listening to Online Marketing Made Easy, please grab the link and just tell them, “Hey, this could help you on your entrepreneurial journey.” So, just a quick, little plug to share the podcast with anyone you think would find it really valuable. 

Okay, so, I’m not going to tease you any longer. Getting back to what I was just saying… 

I started to think, “Maybe I could pull this off. Like, maybe this is something that I could do so that I won't feel so stung by some of those comments or negative criticism online.” And when I thought about it more, I was like, “Um, absolutely not.” I could never do that. It would be too hard on my mental health to have to pretend to be somebody that I'm not.  

But I do think that we can learn something from what Paris did here, and that's to put some thought into how you want to show up online. And although I don't necessarily agree with her strategy, I do love the intentionality of taking a moment and asking yourself some very specific questions.  

Now, this is a Shorty episode, so I'm going to go fast here, but I want you to think about some of these questions. Number one, what do you stand for? Number two, what do you not stand for? Three, who are you, really? Four, what do you believe in? Five, what's most important to you? And six, what brings you joy?  

Something I've learned is that one of the biggest things you can do for yourself as an entrepreneur, especially if you're the face of the brand, is to get crystal clear on what you're all about so that you show up online as your true, authentic self. That way, when you do get that comment on your Instagram that stings just a little bit—and you will; we all do—you're much better equipped to handle it because you stand solidly in who you are. It’s that simple. Decide how you want to show up, and commit to it fearlessly, without any apology. I know, I know: easier said than done. But no matter what, you cannot take it personally. I cannot take it personally.  

One thing I do when I get negative feedback online is I try to remember that I cannot be for everybody. In my new book, Two Weeks Notice, I tell a story of how my dear friend Jasmine Star taught me that “oh, so important” lesson. I was telling her about how I was really frustrated that I was getting negative feedback online for a specific social-media post I did. And that's when she says, “You're not for everybody, Boo.” And in fact, she was so right. And then she followed that up with, “And if they don't pay the bills, they don't get an opinion.” And that's straight facts, right?  

Like, why on earth would we even think that we can please everyone? That has never happened. I think I heard someone say that you're not ice cream. You can't make everybody happy. I’m like, hm, there's some truth to that as well.  

So I also find a lot of comfort in knowing that the people who are meant to be part of my world, they will find me. I learned that one from Gabby Bernstein. What's meant for me will find me, and that includes the people that I serve. And remember, at the end of the day, you only need a tiny sliver of the Internet to pay attention to what you're doing and to find it valuable so that they want to work with you and they want to buy from you.  

So for example, I sell a few thousand Digital Course Academy programs each time I launch, and it's very lucrative. I’m very, very grateful for the students that I get to work with. But it's not like I'm enrolling hundreds of thousands of people each time I launch. Now, three thousand five hundred new students in one launch? Yeah, that's amazing. I really think about that. If you consider how big the world is, over seven billion people, I'm getting a tiny, tiny sliver to join Digital Course Academy once a year, and that is incredibly lucrative.  

So I want you to remember that we got to put this in perspective. You've got to be proud of yourself and love the business that you're creating. You've got to know that you're doing good in the world. And so what if someone doesn't like you?  

When I think about my dating time, it was a hot mess, my friends. Like, thank God for Hobie Porterfield, that he got me out of the dating game because I was terrible at it. And when I was really just starting to date online and using dating apps, I was still in my twenties, and this is a pattern of mine for a few years, where I wouldn't even check in with myself. I would just try to get his external approval. Like, does he like me? Does he like me? And then if he did, then I'd start to kind of sort out if I liked him or not. I do not think that's the way I should have been dating.  

And it's like that with the business I run today as well, where I don't like everybody, so everybody's not going to like me, right? And that is just how the world turns. And so it's funny that I think that I can be for everyone when everyone's not for me either. Like, I could look around and point out some people that I don't align with, that I don't necessarily want to spend more time with. It goes both ways. So you have to remember that if someone doesn't like you, maybe you don't like them. So there you go.  

When you're truly grounded in who you are and the impact that you're making on others, believe me, it makes it so much easier to navigate through the world of entrepreneurship. I hope you heard me on that one. This has been so true for me on my journey, and because of that, I am truly able to consciously show up as 100 percent myself online and create a business that I'm really, really proud of.  

I had breakfast with a peer of mine over the weekend, and she's a new friend, I'd say, and we spent a little time together, and she's like, “It's so cool to know that how you show up on your podcast is how you show up in real life.” And I have to tell you, I don't know if there's a better compliment. I really don't. Since I spend so much time online, for someone to say, like, “Oh, you're just like you are online,” I find that very refreshing to hear. So I think that is really what we need to strive for, so that you are truly yourself because you know how exhausting it must've been for Paris to keep up her persona that wasn't her own? There's no way that could have been easy.  

So on that note, sweet friend, the next time you find yourself upset over a negative comment on social media, or maybe you're afraid to put yourself out there for fear of getting negative feedback, remember this: you're not for everybody, and that is okay. I actually want you to write that down somewhere—maybe in your journal or create a new note on your phone or on a Post-it Note. You know how I feel about Post-its—“I’m not for everybody, and that’s okay.” I want you to make that one of your new mantras. I want you to post it somewhere, take a picture, and post it on Instagram and DM me. I want to see it. Or tag me. I want to see that you did it. “I'm not for everybody, and that's okay.” It's powerful. And I promise you, understanding this from the very beginning will save you from wasting your time and energy on low-level thoughts, low-vibe thoughts, that get you absolutely nowhere.  

And I am speaking from experience. Anything I teach on Tuesday episodes, the Shorty episodes, it’s usually because I'm either working through it currently, or I've worked through it and I feel like I'm on the other side. So you always get a little peek into my personal chaos as well.  

So I hope you found this Shorty episode valuable. It felt good to talk about it with you, just to remind myself to stay grounded.  

And remember those questions. So one more time, what do you stand for? What do you not stand for? Who are you, really? What do you believe in? What's important to you? And what brings you joy? Answer those questions and get more grounded on who you are and keep showing up.  

Thanks so much for tuning in, and I'll see you Thursday for some more entrepreneurial goodness. Bye for now. 

OUTRO: If you're anything like me, your 2023 is rolling in fast. As a leader, it can be challenging to align your teams on a shared mission and goals for the year. But with HubSpot CRM, you can keep your marketing and sales and operations and service teams in sync on one powerful platform that grows with your business and leaves your competition in the dust. You can capture leads, boost sales, and engage customers all from one powerful platform. Tools like help-desk automation and customizable reporting make it easy to unite your team around a single source of truth, which means you can spend less time managing your software—amen—and more time connecting with your customers. So learn how HubSpot can help your business grow better, at 

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